Never Get What I Want

I'm CEO at a large industrial conglomerate. I travel internationally, I work hard and after a divorce decided that marriage probably isnt right for me. It's work and the company first for me then my own personal needs. I do confess to having taken a couple of young men, underlings and using them for flings. I just don't have time to go anywhere to meet anyone, and I'm rather kinky in the bedroom and when friends introduce me to men, even other women since I never reacted to the men, I don't want anyone knowing about my intimate side. So I've had a few affairs at work, most men who were younger and eager to please the boss. It was nice, and in two instances led to some mistress-sub relationships. While I did enjoy them, denying them, getting my pleasures it wasn't what I was after.

What I want is my husband sex when I was married. He was dominant, and I was his slut, his holes to use to please himself. Sometimes even admittedly using my mouth, my ass or my pussy (I had to call it a c**t) basically to masturbate himself. No regard to me. He would maul and bruise my D cup tits (I was to call them udders, or fun bags depending on his whim). He pushed acupuncture needles into my udders, into my c**t lips and would suck on them and fuck me while they were in me. At times he'd come home and say NOW, and I knew I was to bend over the nearest piece of furniture, and pull up my skirt and let him have my ass to fuck. I was not allowed to wear panties unless I had my period, and only on some occasions could I wear pants, always a dress or skirt with stockings and garter. I was to be open to him all the time. He preferred front clasping bras so he could undo them and leave me bare under a sheer blouse in public.

I miss that treatment, he and I have gotten together a few times for sex, he's a true friend, the divorce wasn't bitter at all. But, while I like having young guys doing my bidding, eating me when I say, fucking me slow or fast, kissing and anything when I say, only cumming if I let them and that is usually outside of me using their hand. I crave being the submissive slut again for someone. I want to be used to please a man. Have a man wail on me with his belt, all over my ass, back, legs, tits just because he felt like it, or I didn't respond with a thank you for his cum, or he came too fast because I was too much of a slut and whore.

I'm in charge in business, but I really wish I could risk taking the chance of letting someone treat me like the sub slut I really am. I just can't risk it getting out to the public.