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Anything Goes
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Straight Female / 19
My 20th Birthday Is In 2 Months And I'm Still A Virgin
So, let me start off by saying I know that there's nothing wrong with being a "late in life" virgin. I don't think I'm any less than my peers or those who have managed to get laid.
The thing is: I find it hard to not be disappointed in myself for not having the experience yet when I want it SO bad. I really do want to feel the touch of a man and the sexual frustration has been killing me from the inside out.
I was raised by a very strict and religious family. It was normal for me to hear the "No sex before marriage talk." Because my parents weren't the fondest of me dating boys, I never really had (and still don't have) a serious boyfriend. I've never been on a date either.
The good news is that I'm going to be moving out to go to college pretty soon (money concerns have held me back). I'm not the best at making friends (my parents have helicopter parented me since the day I was born) and like I've said, I've never actually had a real boyfriend.
I'm finally going to be free, but I have so much anxiety about meeting people, especially men. I really want sex to happen for me and even get a boyfriend too, but I'm scared. I feel like I have no real experience and I'm just going to make a fool of myself, or worse, become a disappointment.
What if I pick the wrong person? What if I embarrass myself? What if I end up just lying there awkwardly on some bed naked and clueless what to do next? What if I agree to oral sex and accidentally bite my partner? What if he goes down on me and doesn't like the way I taste? What if it hurts when he decides to finally enter me? What if I find that it's not as satisfying as I hoped?
Most days I just masturbate in my bedroom dreaming of the fantasy I so desperately want. I'm starting to think this fantasy is the only thing I'll ever truly have. I don't know if I'll be able to overcome my own mind or fears anytime soon...
The thing is: I find it hard to not be disappointed in myself for not having the experience yet when I want it SO bad. I really do want to feel the touch of a man and the sexual frustration has been killing me from the inside out.
I was raised by a very strict and religious family. It was normal for me to hear the "No sex before marriage talk." Because my parents weren't the fondest of me dating boys, I never really had (and still don't have) a serious boyfriend. I've never been on a date either.
The good news is that I'm going to be moving out to go to college pretty soon (money concerns have held me back). I'm not the best at making friends (my parents have helicopter parented me since the day I was born) and like I've said, I've never actually had a real boyfriend.
I'm finally going to be free, but I have so much anxiety about meeting people, especially men. I really want sex to happen for me and even get a boyfriend too, but I'm scared. I feel like I have no real experience and I'm just going to make a fool of myself, or worse, become a disappointment.
What if I pick the wrong person? What if I embarrass myself? What if I end up just lying there awkwardly on some bed naked and clueless what to do next? What if I agree to oral sex and accidentally bite my partner? What if he goes down on me and doesn't like the way I taste? What if it hurts when he decides to finally enter me? What if I find that it's not as satisfying as I hoped?
Most days I just masturbate in my bedroom dreaming of the fantasy I so desperately want. I'm starting to think this fantasy is the only thing I'll ever truly have. I don't know if I'll be able to overcome my own mind or fears anytime soon...
