My Erotic Desire Won't Quit

I am that prudish, straight, oh-so-normal housewife. I have sex anyway my husband wants and he wants it everway. I'm very shy sexually but am comfortable enough with him that I will do what he wants, dress as he wants, show myself at windows and in public when out of town. I have let an ex boyfriend have sex with me when I was 18, that was my first time. I was dating my now husband and I never told him. I waited and on my wedding night I pretended I was a virgin, and acted just like I did when it happened that first time. That first night I let me ex do it to me that night and again in the morning, so I was still tight, and it was uncomfortable. I didn't have to pretend too much. My husband thinks he was my first and I've never told him or anyone any different. My somewhat sluttish sister keeps calling me the "virgin housewife" as if being a virgin at marriage was something to be mocked. It took me and my husband about 2 years to be able to bring me to orgasm. I never masturbated before and really didn't know how to arouse enough for orgasm, nor did he know how to get me there.

The thing is, and I think the reason I only let that ex do it, when I was drunk drunk drunk, and my husband is that I dream of doing it with other women. Other girls when I was a teen. I wouldn't masturbate but got wet in bed thinking of the other girls in high school, naked in the showers. The naked pussies, asses and tits of all shapes and sizes and I wanted them. I guess at heart I am a lesbian, I don't know I've never tried it. I was 29 before I even tasted my own juices off my finger. I didn't like it, I loved it. That was the first time I actually masturbated, and I was thinking of a particular girl from school. I constantly was using my fingers inside me and around me getting them soaked and sucking off the juices. I actually let that take me to cleaning off my husbands cock when he finishes with me. I don't do it when he finishes in my butt but in my pussy I do. I love the taste. I joined a gym, got in great shape, but did it to see the women and teens naked in the locker room, shower and sauna. I accidentally walked in on two naked women kissing in the locker room, they separated and I went to the showers as I was instantly wet.

I'm a sexually shy, prudish wife, who gets good sex from her husband and he is incredibly satisfied, but I'm a lesbian. Just never in real life.