A ton to confess here-all of my life I've been obsessed with sexy women almost to the point of perversion but I am trying to get past that. I've stroked off while watching girls at the beach privately, gone streaking after giving myself an erection hoping to get caught by a beautiful woman-I always ejaculated and felt stupid before I even got seen. I have been obsessed with the privates-both my own and beautiful ladies vaginas. I used to thank that women liked to see a man turned on-so I showed it to them pretending it was accidental. I think it all started with pornographic magazines when I was younger. I'm doing better for having been through it, but still have desires to go back to my old behavior every now and then even though I know it's wrong. I've had many serious relationships but managed to keep my private thoughts and actions secret. I've worn women's underwear and separated my testicles with them pulled up as high as I could stand it. I've called 800-number's and done anything to myself that they say-I always chicken out to give my real name. I really have enjoyed watching legal age girls in erotic Fighting and secretly wish that I dared to hire one of them to tease and deny me, or even kicked me where it hurts out of guilt. I have gone into stores like Victoria's Secret and rub myself as privately as possible until I cum in my pants. I am sure that I've been caught on camera but it doesn't bother me if I think a pretty woman either sees or catches me. I used to masturbate while driving until a few of my neighbors started making the jerk off motion-it was humiliating-I never really thought they could see me, also it bothered me if the guys and friends found out which I hope they never did but it didn't bother me when pretty women saw me. There is more but this is the worst of it. I really want to turn my life over to God so I confess all of this foolishness and sinful activity. I feel better confessing this-does anyone understand me or done foolish things like this