Humiliation Nightmare

Without boring anyone with the dysfunction of my family I was raised in an extremely rural area in New Mexico by my grandmother and her sister Aunt Belle. I still don't know today if I was ever vaccinated or had childhood shots since I have no recollection of a doctor when I was very young.. I'm almost certain I was close to 15 when I began having episodes of yeast infections. It was Aunt Belle who found a doctor to go to which was about 15 miles from our house. My Grand mother and Aunt paid Carlo who had a small farm near us to take me to Dr. W--------"S office. That was the start of the most humiliating time of my life. Now before anyone thinks Carlo abused me it wasn't, it was Dr. W.. He evidently called My grandmother telling her I had other female problems and I needed to have routine appointments wanting me back in 2 weeks. I remember her discussing how she was going to pay for it and this doctor told her he would only charge her $15 per appointment since her income was only through S.S. For the next year and a half Carlo drove me to these visits every 3 weeks. Dr. W. was probably in his 50's, soft spoken and at first not very invasive of my body. He spoke mostly in medical terms I didn't understand and at the time I was to naive to ask many questions. My appointments were always on Wednesdays at 3:30 and he always told Carlo to come back at 4:30. The embarrassment was immediate since I had to take everything off including underwear and put on one of those ugly gowns. The first few times were bad enough the way I was exposed to him but after that it became like a humiliation nightmare as he began using stirrups . It never occurred to me until I was much older that there was never a nurse there for my exams.

I tried telling my Grandmother and aunt how embarrassing it was but they only said it was something us women have to put up with at times. I began clamping my eyes shut almost in tears as Dr W. would first pull the gown down to examine my breasts. Instead of putting the gown back over my breasts he simply crimped the gown up from my pelvis and roll it up on my stomach leaving me completely exposed to him. He took a lot of time probing my vagina and after awhile would guide my legs and feet into the stirrups and move down exposing me to the maximum. I have no idea what was used but after the first few times he began using some kind of lotion or lubricant and started penetrating me vaginally. He kept talking as he did all this constantly telling me to calm down and relax my body. That day as his finger was inside me I felt him penetrate me anally also and I know I twitched my hips violently. That was the first time he scolded me so then I was not only humiliated by him but also afraid of him. Each visit after that I just kept quiet and foolishly let him assault my body. I don't recall when it began to happen but instead of deeply penetrating me he began moving his fingers inside me gently. I understand it now but at the time was sexually uneducated. I did masturbate sometimes but now I know he was trying to arouse me and soon was successful.

Each time I went back it always started the same with him examining my breasts. Once in the stirrups the lubricant was used and being more gentle than before he would penetrate me vaginally and anally. My humiliation never ceased but I could feel myself getting wet and the more he probed my vagina the more aroused I would become. I unwillingly and unintentionally began having multiple orgasms which had to be obvious to him. I wonder today how I could climax and be so blatantly embarrassed at the same time. There were many times when he put a warm cloth over my eyes while I was positioned in the stirrups and I honestly don't know if he had intercourse with me.. I do remember times when it felt like something larger than a finder or two inside me but it was always when I was on the verge of an orgasm. I don't think I really want to know now but suspect he did that with me. Whenever he had the warm cloth over my eyes as soon as he stopped penetrating me he would use a douche then clean me with warm water and a towel. That still makes me try to remember sometimes. Later that year my grandmother had a stroke and that's when I was taken by CPS and stayed in a group foster home until I was 18. I was examined once by a female doctor finding nothing wrong with me.. At 19 I joined the Air Force and served 20 years. My husband is still in the Air Force and we have 2 great kids. I only wrote this because I don't ever talk about this and never told any of my friends and not even my husband. This DR W. was a pervert and he was a real doctor because I looked it up many years ago and he was a licensed Osteopath. He's long dead now so at least he can't prey on other young girls. I suppose I was not only naive but foolish years ago putting up with the way that man exposed me to himself and abused me all those times. Its difficult to explain the humiliation part of it since I was so shamefully displayed and probed by him. It was a long time ago but I still think about it more than I should and without a doubt my most embarrassing experience.