Questioning Myself

I was born and grew up in a country with conservative social morals, very homophobic, although to be fair, gay men are seen one way, gay women another, if the gay woman marries and has her friend in a quiet reserved relationship. I am a gay woman and kept my predilection to myself. I starved to leave to attend university. I went to the UK. I met a real nice girl, we became sexually active and I lost sight of time and social awareness. When I graduated I had to find another safe place, I was accepted for a Master's in the US. It was over in 18 months, my visa set to expire, a male friend offered marriage so I could stay.

It's obvious that he had his fwb and I had mine. We went to a wedding for one of his cousins, we stayed in a hotel and shared a room, one bed. It wasn't the first time, what was the first time was we had sex, after three years. It was a strange experience but not disgusting like I expected. We have sex pretty often, he has a little fwb relationship, it has been a long time since I have kissed a girl. Now I'm thinking about the most out there life choice f8r a lesbian, starting a family. I have a short window, my doctor will help with the process if needed, right now I have to bank on his machismo to get us over the line. I really hope nature just takes its course.

Is it age, convenience, ease? Why have I drifted away from my core sexual identity into this domestic partner wants to be a Mom identity? Am I even lesbian any more?