My Younger Mistake

I had sex with boys, since I was 16 and quite frankly the first orgasm I ever had was at 18 from an older woman of 32. I didn't know sex could be so great. With guys it was just - lay there till they were done, moan a lot, breathe heavy and move your hips, then moan louder and tense up and pretend it was wonderful. With her - it was love, it was wonderful, my body did things all on it's own and I loved it. She was the dominant one, and with no family alive any longer I moved in with her in less than a year. I stayed totally faithful except for the times she had me go with others, men and women. She was the dominant one, I the submissive. We both enjoyed it. she got my name tattooed under her left breast, and at her urging she waxed me and I got a slave tattoo above my coinslot. She got tired of me when I was 29 and told me to get out. I moved out.

I've not had sex with anyone since because I'm so embarrassed about the tattoo. I grow my hair in but its pretty light colored and quite frankly; sparse for a grown woman down there. The black and blue tattoo is readable through it. I don't even go to the doctor anymore for the embarrassment of it. I want to get it removed but I'm afraid of the scarring and that hair won't grow back. I've seen guys with tattoos removed and you can tell they had it done. I'm tempted to go to the ob-gyn I used to see when I was with her. She knows about the tattoo but I think she might get more personal than I want. She was one of the women my ex had me make love with.

I want sex, I want it badly, I need it, it's been too long. I masturbate now but it's not the same. I made a mistake, and shouldn't have ever done it. I just don't want anyone, even potentially a man know