Long Hiatus In Cums For Me Anyway

I had not cum in a week and I was getting so sore down in the clit it was throbbing so hard and painful. I finally found some time to masturbate hard and long for only an hour before I orgasmed but I tried on my back and then prone position and I came so hard looking at 2 of my favourite posters. I just want to know is that considered dirty? I mean you have to look at something or close your eyes. I find I rise up to sex sometimes ok closing my eyes and relaxing to it. but I find a lot orgasm is great when you look a man in the eyes and I have never done that. I have had sex 2 times and it was shitty.

I noticed I literally called out Fark for the first orgasm and so loving this guy and find him hot material and the orgasm was wild. and the 2nd guy I came out with, I love you, oh god I love you both, but a soft unfulfilling orgasm. can anyone tell me what this means other then being seriously desperate. Cuz I like both of them.

Am i cheating hims or me?