Females In The Office Do Better When They Hold The The High Ground

I work with all professionals, mostly male and a few females. It is male dominated. At first I was uncomfortable, language, attitude, and comments. After a year it didn't phase me. One afternoon in a meeting I used the expression 'tear him a new asshole', talking about a competitor. My boss, 62, called me to his office and reprimanded me for using that language. It wasn't lady like. I felt embarrassed and small being treated like that, the men say things that are easily worse in front of me and the other women.

I swallowed my feelings until one day I had to speak out. My boss asked me if my using language like that made me equal, or if it ensured I'd be looked down upon. Better hold the high road. He never asked the men to change.

I've worked with him now for 7 years, I can't think of an instance since where I have used fowl language, cussed, made sexual references. I can't. I have learned to hold my tongue, dismiss the men's language, I have never been disrespected or personally abused. I have advanced steadily, and my coworkers never question my position or authority.

Men will be men. Lowering our standards only makes us lesser women. I know that, and I've counseled several women. When the guys aren't themselves they aren't trusting us. It's better holding the high ground.