Really?!? On Those?

When I was 9 I started having my period. When I turned 11, I was tired of feeling like I was wearing a diaper so I asked my mom if I could use tampons. After we went to the doctor and my mom asked if I could, I started using the slim and petite ones. The whole thing was a shock for me as that's how I popped my own cherry. Well, I kind of found out I really enjoyed feeling things in me, go figure lol, so after a few months it was easy.
Fast forward, I'm 12. I had been all over the internet, seen lots of things and knew, what I thought was alot by then. My half brother, who was 17, would stay the weekends with us and the rest of the week he went to his dads. Well, one weekend I walked by the bathroom and saw him closing the door under the sink where I kept my stuff.
That night, my period started so I went under the sink and grabbed a tampon, sat down and went to open it. I noticed the package was open but kind of folded closed. I didn't pay it any mind, till i was sitting there going potty kinda fidgeting with it when I felt the top and noticed it was rougher than normal. I pushed it up alittle and it stuck for a second and then popped up alittle. I pushed it back in, wipped and cleaned myself, then took the tampon and insertred it. They are never comfortable, but it was very rough going inside me, but once I got it all the way in, it felt normal.
A day later, I found another tampon that was open and rough. I shrugged it off and put it in me too.
The next day, Sunday, I had been next door at my friends house when I felt I needed to change it. When I got home, my mom and step dad were out, and the TV was on. I went to get something from my room when I passed the bathroom. The door was slightly open and I heard a noise. I peeked through the crack, oh crap, my brother was jerking fast at the counter. I quickly turned to walk away embarassed, but realized he didn't know I was there. I peered in again and watched him. His eyes were closed, and pulling fast on his dick. I was kinda surprised because I never thought of my brother like that, but I found I couldn't look a way. He opened his eyes and i ducked quick, but when I looked back in, one of my tampons was on the sink counter and he was standing over it. I knew it was the last one in that box and he had it our of the wrapper and pushed half way up. Then he leaned forwrd and I watched him cum right on it. His eyes were closed again but i watched like 4 or 5 spurts splatter it. I couldn't believe I just watched that when he started like rolling it all around in his cum. How he did it, idk becauae like if they get wet, they open, big. I went to my room, and sat there kind of dumb founded. I don't exactly know how long it was but like at least a half hour when I heard him come out of the bathroom and go right back in him room. I thought about the previous ones I used and realized thats why they were like that.
My parents came back but i just stayed in my room playing video games for a bit. I felt like I really needed to change my tampon and went in the bathroom. I looked at the unopened box, and the single one in the other. I sat there thinking and I still don't know why, but kinda got alittle turned on thinking, wow I have had real cum inside me. It felt so bad and dirty, but it made me feel like naughtier. I pulled the one out and looked at it. I looked at the spot where I watched him spurt his cum and felt the sink. It had kinda a thin crust. When I picked it with my nail, it kinda powdered away. I used my nail on the tampon and it did the same thing, but the spongy part felt wet. I smelled it and it smelled weird and I learned what cum smelled like. Nervously, and yes I did, I put the tip of my tongue on the spot on the sink. I tasted my hairspray, but when i licked the tampon, it had a weird like almost bitter taste. I remember staring in the mirror thinking how bad the things I did already, and what I was thinking about doing. I sat it on the counter and sat on the toilet staring at it. The thought that i had smelled and tasted real cum made me hot. I had been rubbing the bean alittle and then thought, same hand I felt and picked the stuff and held the tampon. Then I remember thinking, well, not like the stuff can go up if everything is going out of me.
My heart racing, I picked up the tampon, felt the top and wiped it between my fingers feeling the wetness off it, then holding my breath, I put it on my lips down yonder, pushed it inside, then pushed the applicator up. It didnt scr**e this time and I realized its cause it was wet. I pulled the applicator out and looked at it like, holy shit what am I doing?
I felt kinda different, like it sounds like a dumb thing to do but I had a guys cum inside me.
I sat down and started playing DJ hard and fast. I got off way harder than I did ever! I felt so bad, so dirty, but strangely felt so hot too. I left the bathroom and went the rest of the night till morning with the tampon soaked by my brothers cum inside me. Every time I thought about it, I had to go touch myself. The next morning, getting ready for school I stood on the tub looking in the mirror thinking all kinds of dumb kid thoughts like I'm kinda a woman now.
I know how it appears but to me, I blame it cause I have a major Preg Risk thing now and I blame it kinda on that. Had a few scares, lol, and a few Plan Bs but it makes me so hot now.