Growing Old Is Forcing Me To Face That I May Not Be Able To Indulge

My days growing up were pretty good. I did well in school and had many friends. It's when I got to college that this door opened. I had a freshman roommate, Tom, who came from Nebraska and I was lying on my bed in my underwear and he jumped on me, and with both hands cupped my dick under him and and continued to talk. His body weight on me, his hot hands grabbing my dick. Halfway through a sentence he moved down and put his mouth on my dick and started to mouth me, and slipping my dick out of my fly and sucked it down and started to blow me.

I was a virgin all over, I had never really dared in high school and I had never had any kind of intimate experience, not even holding hands. His fist was around my dick, and his mouth was sucking and licking and I was hard in a totally different way. He licked me hard down the back of my shaft, over my dick head and squeezed me hard and I came in several long jerks. Tom held my dick while I came, getting a good amount on his face and hair and he put his mouth over my dick for the last jerk of cum.

I had my first blow job. And it wasn't from a slut girl.

Tom's dick was a handsome dick, perfectly cut and as big as mine and I learned to give him blow jobs, I really liked holding his hard dick in my hand and many times we lay on each other, mostly Tom laid on me, with our dicks rubbing against each other. It was many weeks later before Tom kissed me, and after he kissed me I turned over for him and I lost my virginity. Tom was so excited he talked all the way through it, it was his first time fucking and it was my first time too. I tried to answer him but I was to intent on the experience. By the time he finished and pulled his dick out I was a butt slut and confirmed queer.

Tom and I continued with our affair for the better part of two years, but then things faded and ended with Tom. Maybe I was a little older, maybe I needed a different experience. At that time I was taking Sociology and I was fixated on the professor. I left college having been the butt slut for the Sociology professor and introduced to the gay community on campus.

Away from college and the like, I returned home and got a job with the help of my uncle and I was introduced to Nancy, a nice girl. I felt bad because I fucked her. And not in a nice way, nice girls shouldn't lose their virginities that way. She was my first girl and I was insatiable with her. By the time I quit, Nancy did little other than take it, Nancy was not a virgin, not by any stretch of the imagination. What she was, she was permanently attached to me and I married her when she finished college. Nancy is a girl who will never stray, not on her own.

It was ten years later on a trip I had to make to see a client in Philadelphia that I met a man on the plane and we were at the same hotel and he suggested dinner. He probably read me pretty well and I ended up with him, hungry for dick and I wanted him to fuck me. He was hesitant, fucking bareback, I told him I didn't care. I had only fucked bareback and when he did it brought back all the memories of why I liked being a butt slut. And with that I went back to the world of sucking dicks and letting men fuck me.

I knew better than to search out these men in my community. I transferred to an international division and traveled mostly to Europe and some to South America and perfected my come on, concentrating on middle aged men in bars at the hotels. I was prepared and carried condoms and lubes and little things to make the experience more pleasurable.

The bottom line is that I retired when I turned 65 after a long career with the company I went to work for after college. Nancy is my wife, she had three children who are all grown up with families of their own. I am stuck at home with little opportunity to find a man with whom I can get some me time. I joined a dating site of gay men and I have hooked up a couple of times, but these men want a relationship, even if they call it casual. I can't afford the 'exposure'.

So good night my friends, I fear nothing more than growing old with Nancy and not stepping out from time to time for what I most want and get the most pleasure.