- My Family -

Straight Male / 34

Helping Out Family

This rather than being a confession, it’s a moral dilema question.

My wife sister is gay and she is in a relationship well have been for the past 5 years.

Recently the conversation has come up of them having a child, and was asked if I could be the donor. I was actually shocked I was asked the question as my wife and I have a kid already.

Clearly I was not aware this conversation already happened with out my knowledge. But I mentioned the options they had about adoption, ivf, fostering or just a friend of theirs.

They have actually asked good friends if they wanted to be donors but there is this complication of father with their friends etc which they wanted to avoid.

We they are not well of and probably couldn’t afford the treatment. So I was asked again if I could help them naturally. I asked if I decide to go ahead who would be carrying the baby and of course it’s my wife’s sister. They said that she would be first and then her partner after a couple of years because of careers. I mean they have clearly thought this out.

I have talked to my wife about this and helping them out with some money, but I haven’t realised it was so expensive for IVF.

Nonetheless, my dilema comes and if I go ahead, will it cause problems in my marriage, will I be seen as the dad (try explaining that). Is it morally correct, wouldn’t the kids be actually siblings.

I’ve sat on this for a couple of months now and still don’t have an answer for them.

That's Juicy! 22
Remove It! 5

# 60639 - by Spermdonor / September 13, 2022

Comments

by Anonymous on Sep 13, 2022 at 1:37 AM

I think it will ok to go ahead with the arrangement if you are all in agreement. Have they discussed how sperm with be transferred?

(0) (0)

by Anonymous on Sep 13, 2022 at 2:57 AM

It's like scheduled cheating on wife. I think it' s more moral question and no one can give you the answer whether you will get some troubles in the future! They shoult better ask your best friend, or one night stand.

by Anonymous on Sep 13, 2022 at 3:06 AM

Child support you are the father

by Anonymous on Sep 13, 2022 at 5:38 AM

Unless an attorney prepares a legal document reliquinishing parental rights, your on the hook for support and medical asistance in the event of medical issues with the child. Once the child is grown legal action can be implemented by the (now) adult child for rights denied them by the birth mother and donor father. What are the unknown issue your natural child and cousin half-sibling will each have to reconcil and how they fell about you. With the best of intentions, your opening a door for legal, moral, ethical financial and inheritance issues for you, your wife and children (from both sister mothers).

(11) (0)

by Anonymous on Sep 13, 2022 at 5:39 AM

Definitely think about it.. I would Not do it! Life and circumstances can change in the blink of an eye. IF things go wrong (which they likely do), you would be liable for child support (extremely expensive these days) and how that would affect your current child.

I don’t care if they offered having sex with all 3 of them (wife, sister and other wife)…No way in heck I would fall into that mess.

(8) (0)

by Anonymous on Sep 13, 2022 at 6:08 AM

I feel empathy for the gay couple who want to have children, and I don't blame them for pursuing this approach. If it were me, as long as we got a legal agreement that protected my rights against future child support, etc., I'd do it.

(4) (1)

by Anonymous on Sep 13, 2022 at 6:54 AM

One more valid reason to see that being gay is like having 2 left foot.
Creation designed for a man and a woman to couple together and pro-create and have children which is a blessing.
Therefore, it's difficult for 2 pot cover to shut when one could actually cover one pot and the other cover another. They now see the need of having a man. 'A woman without a man is like a kitchen without a knife'.

(5) (9)

by joyfullman on Sep 13, 2022 at 9:19 AM

Love is Love. They have to agree the kids come first and need to discuss how your relationship with them exists. Presume it will come out and your child and theirs will need to know. After that hard conversation I will point out you and your wife need to be better than good and able to communicate very openly about any of what takes place.

Yes it could all go wrong a lot of things can go wrong including walking down the street. Better the kids understand they were conceived out of a deep love and desire for them to be family. Than told lies

My 2 cents.

(2) (0)

by Mikis_pop on Sep 13, 2022 at 10:12 AM

When you impregnate her, let your wife and your wife's sister's partner be present.
It could be the beginning of a new interesting relationship in four.
Everything else is risky. Your wife can easily become jealous later if she is not present.
And that would cause incalculable negative complications.

by Anonymous on Sep 13, 2022 at 10:52 AM

Don’t do it. Too many potential problems plus it’s obviously not moral. Think about it and ask someone who is more understanding of moral spiritual matters.

(1) (1)

by Anonymous on Sep 13, 2022 at 1:05 PM

Dixie cup and turkey baster. List the male parent as unknown donor on the birth certificate. Have an NDA with the couple barring them from ever mentioning your DNA being used.

Nowhere near as fun, but it resolves a lot of your moral dilemma. Unless, of course, the lesbians and your wife insist on at least one old fashioned fucking during their fertile period.

(1) (0)

by Anonymous on Sep 13, 2022 at 4:04 PM

If your wife is on board then you have the green light. What's the issue? You're being afraid?

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