Sometimes I Wish I Were A Man

Since i was a little girl sometimes i was fantasizing myself as a man.
Sometimes i even feel like a sub gay boy inside. I don't relate to femininity. I don't like wearing dresses. I prefer to wear a suit and a tie.

I'm not sure if it's because deep down i believe men are superior to women or something else.

As a child when i was playing with my cousin "the couple" i always wanted to be the husband and her the wife.

Usually in movies and series i admire men that I can't understand if i attracted to them or be like them.

I like when i carry heavy things or support someone financially or protect someone who's afraid because i feel like a man.

If i had a boyfriend i could support him financially or taking him home at night because he's afraid (i done this once to a guy friend i had same age as me because he was afraid to go home alone).

I would prefer to have masculine body over a feminine body.

That way i would felt better for myself because i would be the powerful gender.

At the same i like being a beautiful female desirable to men but this could be done by being a handsome man as well.

I rarely admire females and if i do it's when they look masculine or be masculine in character.

I won't change my gender but i like have the freedom to be both genders and especially more neutral to masculine.