It Actually Helped Me Get Clean

Trigger warning. I was already an alcoholic by the age of thirteen, and a junkie two years later. I started out with beer and moonshine and eventually progressed to wine, bourbon and vodka, the same way I later started out with weed and worked my way up to harder stuff. I lived in a pretty bad neighborhood, my mom was hardly ever around, we lived on welfare and she spent most of her money on booze too. Needless to say, I never knew my father. The day after my 18th birthday I really needed to get high but I had no money. I approached a guy (30s, white, tall, tattos, dark hair) on the street and said I was going to give him a blowjob for fifty bucks. I figured I wouldn't have trouble luring a man, unless he was gay: I had nice C cup tits and firm ass, long, curly raven hair, wore tight white tank top and leather pants. He gave me a look over and agreed, and we went to a nearby alleyway. Then I pulled out a switchblade and told him to give me his wallet. He punched me in the face, knocked the knife out of my hand, knocked me to the ground, ripped my shirt off, cut through my leather pants with my own switchblade, held it to my throat and, well, violently penetrated me.


I still remember the pain, fear, humiliation and this strangely sensual but unwanted stimulation I felt when he shoved his big hard dick up my unprepared, dry pussy. His thrusts were hard and angry, his eyes burning with fury and lust. At least five people walked by and saw exactly what was happening, but didn't do or say anything. I felt my c**t pulse against his cock despite myself, my nipples hardening as he licked my exposed tits and neck, leaving glistening marks of spit. I got wet and soon it was sliding in and out easily. I wanted to hit him, to scream, but I was too scared, cool metal blade pressed right against my jugular. The whole thing lasted around ten minutes. Disgusted with myself, my body betrayed me and I came, pleasure and pain ripping through my muscles just moments before he nutted inside me, orgasm working from my toes to back as he filled my c**t with his spunk, my cum dripping down his throbbing dick as he emptied himself inside me. I started to sob and he pulled his pants up, spat on me and left. Thick goo dripped out of my hole, mixed with some blood. I never got my switchblade back.


That was the incident that truly made me realize it was time to get clean. Sober five years now, albeit still living in a dump.