I Am Being Blackmailed Into Sex

I am being blackmailed into having sex and i can't see a way out.

Well over a 2 years ago I had sex with my much older supervisor. It was wrong. I am married, he is married. I only did it a few times but it did result in me getting a very nice promotion and raise. I knew it was wrong at the time and i felt guilty but wanted to get ahead in life and be successful. He promised to take care of me and get me ahead in the company if i did him "favors" and he kept his word. It was not an affair, there was no romance, it was just me giving him "favors" a few times (it was very rare) and so i convinced myself since i was not emotionally cheating it was ok as long as my husband never knew.

I have a nice company position now and that supervisor has moved on to a new job elsewhere. I put it all behind me and pretended it never happened. However, once he was gone to another company that is when the IT director confronted me that he knew and he wanted some of me too. I was enraged, told him off, threatened to go to HR and have him fired. I was willing to loose my job rather than be blackmailed and i was gambling they'd believe me over him.

Then he showed me he had video footage of me fucking my supervisor in the office (we didn't even think of security cameras). He explained, i could get him fired if i wanted, but this video was backed up both in the cloud and at his home and my husband would be getting it if that happened.

I knew my husband would never forgive me. I have 4 year old daughter and don't want a divorce. i didn't want to reck my life. I was trapped.

Darren (the IT guy) unzipped, pulled it out right in my office, and said, "You're a very attractive woman, your husband is so lucky. Don't ruin his life. If you suck it, no one finds out you even did your boss or me. I promise i won't make you fuck me often, only if i really need some. Everyone stays happy."

I was scare and foolish so i did it. Now he has security video of me servicing two different men at work and my husband will never believe me. I look like a total whore if he tells on me now. I am trapped.

He is smarter than my supervisor, he moved sex to his house, he is single. He is also true to his word. He does not ask for it too often. every 3-4 weeks. Sometimes it almost feels like it is over, and i dream he has a GF and will leave me alone then I get a text telling me to come over, so i do. I do full sex on him, usually cowgirl or doggy, he thankfully willing wears a condom for fucking (not for oral), i blow him, he goes down on me, and this is about it, except he makes me kiss during sex. My boss very did that, he just wanted to get off. Kissing, some how makes it worse, I feel worse about it. The kissing makes it personal and i find myself enjoying the sex with Darren if i orgasm with him i feel so horrible after.

Thankfully it is not often. And he is not mean or degrading with me. We are not romantic either, he acts matter of fact about it. We just have sex and when i am done i shower and go. At work if we cross, you'd never guess he fucks me.

I am starting to get depressed because it is so "norm" at work and so rare he asked me to fuck him, that i just start feeling like i can fix my marriage, be happy again, and forget about this, and just when I feel ok, i have to fuck him and cheat on my husband all over again. I know I am trapped and have no way out.