I Grew Up Normal, Became Lesbian, And Then Back To The Middle

I grew up pretty normal for my time. It wasn't until I was out of college working that I started to have feelings for another woman, feelings that didn't go away. I met this girl through friends, a very quiet and simple girl and I fell for her very hard. I was aggressive to a fault, pushed her past her comfort zones, forced her to accept my kiss. Through conversations I learned that she wasn't only a virgin in every sense, she had never let another person see her naked, not even her mother.

I stripped her down to her panties and had her sit with an arm across the back of the sofa and the other arm on the armrest. Head held high, back straight, announcing herself, showing off her breasts to me. With her sitting in that position I approached her, lifted her chin and kissed her mouth and with one hand held her breast in my hand. From there I took her panties off and went down on her as she sat on the sofa. I made love to her in her mother's bed. It was the first time for both of us. The only difference is that I had practiced it in my mind a 1000 times. I loved eating her, and she loved being eaten. I didn't have a dick, but I was the boy in the relationship.

As time went by I became more and more masculine in my behavior. Yes, I liked being naked, and seeing myself naked, and having her see me naked. I never wanted a dick per se. But I was definitely more masculine with her and much more masculine at work. I was a dyke. And she was a fem. We fit together like a hand and glove. I fucked her, at least that's the expression I used, even if I could never really fuck her, not in the real sense. She knew it, and I knew it.

I had a coworker, a man in his thirties, divorced and with a reputation as a playboy. I asked him to fuck me. For the experience. I needed to know what it felt like. I was 28 and I had never been kissed by a man, much less fucked. He was much stronger and he held me down and he fucked me. I was the bitch, he had the dick. I lied to myself and told myself I didn't like it, but I did. I was the bitch and he knew it instinctively. And he fucked me. He fucks me.

I offered to introduce him to my girlfriend. I had her strip naked. Stand with her back to him. Her legs straight, her hands on her knees, her legs apart. And I watched him run his dick in her. Ejaculate in her. I watched her get fucked. I loved it, I got wet, when he pulled his dick out of her I sucked him until he was hard again and laid back for him to fuck me too. I never asked him, not that day, but that day that he fucked us both I wanted him to slap me, to slap me hard.

For months we kept up this relationship, he fucked her, he fucked me, I fucked her. I slept with her, we did not sleep with him. We slept together and we made love, and when I made love to her I pretended I had a dick to fuck her with. But of course, it wasn't true. I couldn't fuck her, he did. And he fucked me. He had the dick. And one late afternoon he slapped me hard on the ass. I acted like I was angry and told him never to do that again. But I liked it. I wanted him to slap me again, on the ass, to slap me on the cheek and call me a bitch, or something like that.

He fucked her pregnant, she just gave up taking her birth control and she got pregnant. Now what did we do? She stayed home with her baby and I worked, someone had to work. Someone had to be the man of the house and support her and her baby and support me too. The baby changed everything, I was not one of those women that wants to hold babies all the time. Not till she had a baby, then I became one of those women. I wanted him to fuck me too, fuck me and get me pregnant. Only this time it was on purpose. He slapped my ass that night, several times, until I turned onto my back to het him fuck me and get me pregnant.

I suppose that labels are used as a way to figure things out. My girlfriend is a lesbian, no doubt about that. She knows it, I know it, her mother knows it, and my boyfriend knows it. He can tell the difference, so he says. I'm a mess, not this, not that, I need him to slap my ass, I need him to fuck me, I need him to tell us what to do. In that way I'm not a lesbian. But I need to be with her, to make love to her and feel she belongs to me. In that way I'm a lesbian too, a dyke, but a lesbian.

We live as lesbians with two children. We live in a townhouse in the nicer part of the gay part of town. Unlike most lesbians we have a man that comes around. Not only to see his children, but to keep us the way he wants us. It's 90 percent sex with me and 10 percent sex with her. He knows I like to have my ass smacked before he fucks me. It didn't take him long to figure that out. He knows I'm his bitch.