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Women Only
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Straight Female / 36
The Only Sanity Comes From Accepting Your New Reality
I worked in the marketing department and one of the duties is to be the person taking care of the set up of the booth for conventions. That year it was me and another girl, The convention was in Las Vegas. We went out a day early to get set up. My boss showed up that night, he met a customer there. He called me around midnight to go over the show schedule, and wanted to go down to the exhibition hall and get familiar with the setup.
He got his hands on me, literally and wouldn't let go. I told him several times but he was too far gone to stop and I went through my r**e. Women that get r**ed have a rapist, I don't know if you know that? He is your rapist. It's your prize for being r**ed. Your rapist owns you, he owns every minute of your every day, he owns you when you are taking a shower, he owns you when you go buy a new dress. He owns you, It's a permanent relationship. You feel it in your bones, his voice, his look. You are not free, you belong to that man for the rest of your life.
In my case he is a successful businessman and he can afford to support me. I met other women who's rapist are scum bags who they have to support. Talk about insult and injury. I met this one woman who's rapist got 20 years. She waited until he was released for good behavior before marrying him. My rapist could afford me. I waited four years for him to get free from his wife before marrying him. Your got it, in Las Vegas. Not getting sex from him is very demeaning.
I am proud to say he has been the only man. I had boyfriends and girlfriends, but was never intimate with a boyfriend. He was my first, And that's they way it is going to stay.
One more word. I went to counseling, therapy, and none of it helped. The thing that they don't understand is that you are never free of your rapist. He owns you for life. That visceral feeling that you can't ever shake. I understand the woman who waited for her rapist to get out of jail to get married. Own up to it, accept it, if you can get him to marry you, make a life, have your children. And stay away from therapists. They are the ones fucking up your life.
He got his hands on me, literally and wouldn't let go. I told him several times but he was too far gone to stop and I went through my r**e. Women that get r**ed have a rapist, I don't know if you know that? He is your rapist. It's your prize for being r**ed. Your rapist owns you, he owns every minute of your every day, he owns you when you are taking a shower, he owns you when you go buy a new dress. He owns you, It's a permanent relationship. You feel it in your bones, his voice, his look. You are not free, you belong to that man for the rest of your life.
In my case he is a successful businessman and he can afford to support me. I met other women who's rapist are scum bags who they have to support. Talk about insult and injury. I met this one woman who's rapist got 20 years. She waited until he was released for good behavior before marrying him. My rapist could afford me. I waited four years for him to get free from his wife before marrying him. Your got it, in Las Vegas. Not getting sex from him is very demeaning.
I am proud to say he has been the only man. I had boyfriends and girlfriends, but was never intimate with a boyfriend. He was my first, And that's they way it is going to stay.
One more word. I went to counseling, therapy, and none of it helped. The thing that they don't understand is that you are never free of your rapist. He owns you for life. That visceral feeling that you can't ever shake. I understand the woman who waited for her rapist to get out of jail to get married. Own up to it, accept it, if you can get him to marry you, make a life, have your children. And stay away from therapists. They are the ones fucking up your life.
