Straight Female / 35
Guilt
By the time I got to high school I could no longer get along with my mother. She was a guilt Nazi and anything and everything I was supposed to feel guilty about. With so much to be guilty about I was supposed to confess and attend mass two or three times a week. I was sick of it, I had no choice about going to mass, but I was not there, I was day dreaming about anything but the mass. Confession of my sins were things like eating too much, or forgetting to be nice to my teacher. First grade stuff.
And then my mother walked in on me when I was masturbating. I had a friend who was far further along than me in the sex department and I lived vicariously through her and masturbated to what she told me she was doing. I could just see myself with a dick in my mouth. My mother tore the sheets off my bed and told me from then on I had to sleep on the floor like animal because that's what I was. It's only then than that my aunt interfered and suggested that I go stay with her for a while,
When I got to her house, she lived in town and had a little house with two bedrooms, sitting on the bedstand were three articles of masturbation. A real life, flesh colored, erect penis. A smaller purple glass dildo, and a vibrator. And two pamphlets. One was the sexual nature of men and the other was about the sexual nature of women. She asked me if I was a virgin, and after a few comments about that she assured me that I was ready for the real world. And she told me that personally, she had always preferred having a girlfriend. And holding my hands in her lap she told me she was a lesbian.
I wasn't going to go to mass. I wasn't going to go to confession. I was free to kiss a boy or a girl. my choice. I was free to get to know my body and my path to orgasm. And if that wasn't enough she had two 'realistic' porn videos for me, one a straight couple having sex, and another a lesbian couple having sex. Whatever turned me on, and I should give myself the opportunity to have a girlfriend.
Living with her my grades improved and I graduated from high school. I went to the community college to get my grades up and took remedial math and English to get a better score on the ACT. And I met lesbians at her house, at parties, at restaurants. In her world none of the these women were in the closet. They were out and freely talked about lesbian issues, lost loves, current loves. No guilt, and no guys. And lots of invitations and advise about lesbian living. My aunt kept telling me to give a girl a try.
That's how I met Andrea, she was older and experienced, 27 to my 18. She was hungry for an innocent girl, for a girl that had not had her cherry popped. She regularly chased high school girls and she not only got in my bed, she took away any fantasy I had. She practiced what she preached and she was determined that I experience everything in the flesh. A couple of weekends later I was her girlfriend and I exclusively went out with her. My aunt reassured me that I was like her, a late bloomer, but an avid lesbian. Just let myself go with it. Enjoy the flesh, my inner Eve, taste her, touch her, look at her, get to know her body with my fingers, my mouth and my eyes. There was just nothing more enjoyable than a woman's body.
I no longer masturbated, my toys were in a drawer. I dressed for Andrea, she liked a certain look, had my hair cut for her, and we went out two or three times a week, and my aunt had no problem with Andrea spending the night. There were many Sunday morning breakfasts on the patio, four women, who had spent the night together. I couldn't remember the last time I had a conversation with a guy,
I did grow up, I did finish college, I did get a job. I did get fucked by a man. I had a secret crush on him, and we met at work and got together at lunch for a quick fuck at his apartment which was downtown. I bought him little g*fts, and he bought me little g*fts. He knew all about Andrea and my aunt and he told me that if I had the guts, I could move in with him. I was torn by guilt, torn about my cheating. I went to mass on my own. I confessed to adultery. I finally knew what real guilt was about. Did I give in to my inner urges? Did I break up what was by then a six year relationship with Andrea. Did I go with the Devil and leave my Angel.
In the end I did not leave Andrea, she left me. In the end I slept with the Devil. In the end I had came out to my aunt, I was straight and not a lesbian. In the end I introduced the Devil to my mother and told her I had sex with him. but I was 30, not 16. In the end I experienced guilt the way my mother always meant for me to feel about guilt. In the end I went to mass, alone at times, and I asked for forgiveness to my sins.
And then my mother walked in on me when I was masturbating. I had a friend who was far further along than me in the sex department and I lived vicariously through her and masturbated to what she told me she was doing. I could just see myself with a dick in my mouth. My mother tore the sheets off my bed and told me from then on I had to sleep on the floor like animal because that's what I was. It's only then than that my aunt interfered and suggested that I go stay with her for a while,
When I got to her house, she lived in town and had a little house with two bedrooms, sitting on the bedstand were three articles of masturbation. A real life, flesh colored, erect penis. A smaller purple glass dildo, and a vibrator. And two pamphlets. One was the sexual nature of men and the other was about the sexual nature of women. She asked me if I was a virgin, and after a few comments about that she assured me that I was ready for the real world. And she told me that personally, she had always preferred having a girlfriend. And holding my hands in her lap she told me she was a lesbian.
I wasn't going to go to mass. I wasn't going to go to confession. I was free to kiss a boy or a girl. my choice. I was free to get to know my body and my path to orgasm. And if that wasn't enough she had two 'realistic' porn videos for me, one a straight couple having sex, and another a lesbian couple having sex. Whatever turned me on, and I should give myself the opportunity to have a girlfriend.
Living with her my grades improved and I graduated from high school. I went to the community college to get my grades up and took remedial math and English to get a better score on the ACT. And I met lesbians at her house, at parties, at restaurants. In her world none of the these women were in the closet. They were out and freely talked about lesbian issues, lost loves, current loves. No guilt, and no guys. And lots of invitations and advise about lesbian living. My aunt kept telling me to give a girl a try.
That's how I met Andrea, she was older and experienced, 27 to my 18. She was hungry for an innocent girl, for a girl that had not had her cherry popped. She regularly chased high school girls and she not only got in my bed, she took away any fantasy I had. She practiced what she preached and she was determined that I experience everything in the flesh. A couple of weekends later I was her girlfriend and I exclusively went out with her. My aunt reassured me that I was like her, a late bloomer, but an avid lesbian. Just let myself go with it. Enjoy the flesh, my inner Eve, taste her, touch her, look at her, get to know her body with my fingers, my mouth and my eyes. There was just nothing more enjoyable than a woman's body.
I no longer masturbated, my toys were in a drawer. I dressed for Andrea, she liked a certain look, had my hair cut for her, and we went out two or three times a week, and my aunt had no problem with Andrea spending the night. There were many Sunday morning breakfasts on the patio, four women, who had spent the night together. I couldn't remember the last time I had a conversation with a guy,
I did grow up, I did finish college, I did get a job. I did get fucked by a man. I had a secret crush on him, and we met at work and got together at lunch for a quick fuck at his apartment which was downtown. I bought him little g*fts, and he bought me little g*fts. He knew all about Andrea and my aunt and he told me that if I had the guts, I could move in with him. I was torn by guilt, torn about my cheating. I went to mass on my own. I confessed to adultery. I finally knew what real guilt was about. Did I give in to my inner urges? Did I break up what was by then a six year relationship with Andrea. Did I go with the Devil and leave my Angel.
In the end I did not leave Andrea, she left me. In the end I slept with the Devil. In the end I had came out to my aunt, I was straight and not a lesbian. In the end I introduced the Devil to my mother and told her I had sex with him. but I was 30, not 16. In the end I experienced guilt the way my mother always meant for me to feel about guilt. In the end I went to mass, alone at times, and I asked for forgiveness to my sins.
- That's Juicy! 13
- Remove It! 0
