It May Be My Inner Self, But I Missed My Husband And My Family

I joined a new gym and signed up for the early morning spinning class. I met a woman there who is a paralegal at the same firm where I work (I'm an immigration attorney). We would not otherwise have a social outlet but in this case I felt I needed to act social with her.

I am a closeted lesbian, I've been married and have two children. My sexual identity brought my marriage to an end, although I remain on good terms with my ex husband. I don't know why, in small talk with this woman I blurted that out. I'm usually very careful with what I say. She responded by asking me if I had a girlfriend to which I answered "I wish".

Walking to our cars she told me how nice it was to meet me and maybe we can do lunch. Again, in our firm the attorneys don't lunch with the hired help. Sorry for the view, but that's how it is in most professional offices, you just don't socialize with the staff. But when she called and left a message I agreed, after all I see her at spin class three times a week. She took me to a place she liked, all and I mean all, women. She knew some of the women there and introduced me as her boss. Women alone at the bar sipping wine, women together at small tables holding hands, women on the make with some young woman they were trying to impress. And me, with my paralegal friend from work.

She came out, she didn't hold back, she was active in the lesbian community and did pro bono work for women who needed a helping hand. She told me about her lost love and asked me in a very frank way what it was like living with a man, intimacy with man, 'what's it like?' The whole lunch was about sex with a man, pregnancy, giving birth, living with two daughters. And like the fool I was right then I answered everything, even told her that sex with a man was just that sex, it doesn't make you sick. She confessed that more than once men had propositioned her, including attorneys at work, but she had turned them down.

Things went from bad to worse, I ended up in bed with her, she was the one with experience so she pretty much had the lead. She did get me to orgasm, something my husband never did. She taught me some tricks, and called her clit 'Joshua', because it is vestigial male appendage. It wasn't long, like weeks, before she was bringing me things she prepared, and she was inviting me to lesbian gatherings, bars and restaurants. She always told her friends I was her boss and she pointed out one or two girls she had been to bed with. Then one day I got a text from her, with a picture of a naked girl, I recognized the girl and she told me that was the girl we met the other night, she did porn.

What was I getting into? I called my ex and had a long talk with him. I asked him to tell me what do, no I wanted him to tell me what to do. Just take charge of the situation, set my boundaries and hold me to them. His first question was about liking her, sure I did, I was having sex with her. Then lay back and enjoy it. I told him he didn't understand, that was my role with him, Here I was supposed to be the assertive one with her, she was the one baking cookies for me.

All in all my affair with her lasted four months. I asked my husband to take me back, let me go back home. I'm a better wife than a lesbian.