Obsessed With Diapers

So after purchasing my first pack of adult diapers not too long ago I've been addicted to them... My gf doesn't want them to take too much of my time up which I understand but nothing can replace how they make me feel. I'll come home from a long day of work and make sure I eat lots of food, drink lots of water and take some laxatives.
Then I'll put a diaper on and let my mind revert completely back to infancy as I fill the front side of the soft padding with my hot piss. I'll piss and then piss again and make myself piss some more until my diaper is completely filled and squishy. Relinquishing all responsibility I shove my thumb in my mouth and lay down on my tummy so that my rock hard cock presses the pee out of my soggy diaper. I'll grab my phone and like a toddler start watching YouTube videos. After maybe an hour has passed I'll get the urge to poop. Having given away my desire to use the toilet I sit up in a doggy-style fashion and prepare myself. My stomach rumbles, my cock tightens harder than ever and I start sweating. My mind starts to go blank as my asshole opens up "Fuck it's so big" I groan. My asshole stretches to a point to where it almost feels like it's tearing and the poop isn't even coming out yet, meanwhile I've been flooding my diaper over and over. I take a deep breath, grab my pillow and bite into it. I keep pushing and eventually the poop starts to come out of me, it's the most amazing feeling ever. I plant myself by grabbing my sheets and push with all my might. In that moment I fill both ends of my diaper, the hot wetness spreads all across the front while a seemingly endless load of soft serve fills up my backside. I lay back and sigh in relief and a giant smile comes across my face. I turn over and grab my gf's vibrator, and I take a pair of her used panties and wear them on my face so that I can't breathe anything else. I squish my gooey diarrhea all over my diaper and cover my cock. Then, I'll set the vibrator to its maximum setting, stick it inside my diaper and hump my pillow while I drool. With the smell of my gf's asshole filling my nose, my own hot shit and piss constricting my cock and a thumb in my mouth, I scream at the top of my lungs as my eyes roll back in my head and cum fills up my diaper. I spend the next half hour sitting in my piss shit and cum not moving, just drooling and existing...
This is my confession.