Once Again I Am Horny + Rant ??

if i ever get a boyfriend I'd probably tell him how wet i am all the time. because oh my fucking god do i get wet so easily. i could see the slightest suggestive image and i would be able to feel how wet my panties are, and i could have the slightest dirty thought and that smell from my panty would emerge as soon as i open my legs a little. i don't get it, im so sexually frustrated but at the same time i feel like I'm a little too young for this, and it makes me feel really dirty because everyone basically thinks I'm innocent, and I've always been told that i have an innocent face, even a guy friend was a little surprised when he realized that i could fully understand all the "hidden" suggestive meanings in his words when he's talking to his friends. "how did you know what that meant??" well......... i mean I don't remember either, guess i was a little too invested in reading nsfw since i was 14, started watching mild porn when i was 16 and I've been masturbating for what, 3 to 4 years? like some dude said i should get a boyfriend, but it's basically taboo in my culture to marry before marriage, and not gonna lie i do feel disgusted with the idea of sex before marriage here, purely because the men here are disgusting. unless i move out of this dreaded country then maybe i could try hooking up with some guy... but yeah im still studying, and I've been a good daughter.. never smoked, never drank, never done dr*gs, good academics and all that. and no matter how horny i am i always feel like the men here just don't suit my tastes, even if someone online tells me to "go outside", there's nobody here who's actually, you know, interesting. but yeah i feel like I'm a little too young for marriage just to have sex, i think I'll just move out one day and purchase some sex toys to satisfy myself and all that. might not get a dildo tho, i like the idea of having my virginity taken by my own husband. but yeah I'd probably get vibrators and pussy pumps, might even use a vibrator in public just to "test myself", I've always liked holding my moans and i think it's hot, and if i ever get myself a man I'd want him to do that to me, controlling the vibrator as i shop for stuff, would probably wear pads in case i squirt ( wouldn't want to make a mess in public ), oh and you know it'd be nice if i could masturbate with water right now like i mentioned in my last post but unfortunately water supply's out for god knows how long because of some faulty pipes, and i have to live with this wet patch in my panties and fighting the urge to just fucking grind on the edge of my bed as my roommates are present. once i get out of this shitty campus maybe I'll finally be able to have some fun with myself, yeah i say that all the time but do i look like i have a choice... there's no way I'm gonna talk about this to a friend irl, the mention of nsfw things can literally get you expelled from here because of how taboo the mention of sex here is. like a girl and a guy got expelled because they sent each other nudes, and some people were reported for watching lesbian porn. so you can imagine how sexually frustrating it is for me because i just can't let it out lol. this website is all i have to relieve my thoughts a little ( not my pussy tho the more i write the more i get wet ), oh and I've taken pics of my boobs and pussy before, thought of posting it to a nsfw discord server once but changed my mind in fear of having someone save the pics. oh and I've definitely recorded fingering myself before, but deleted it right after because i was so indulged in masturbating i didn't realize the angle was off lmao. and not to mention im a little hairy because im scared of cutting myself while trimming, but I've thought of getting my pussy waxed before, just a little scared that it'll hurt or idk, rip my skin off. but yeah anyways i think i have daddy issues in a way, like I'd love to be caressed and hugged, kissed everywhere, spoiled with love and g*fts, or you know, being taken cared of sounds nice, being guided in bed, even the idea of guided masturbation sounds nice. sexual punishments also do sound hot... like if i "misbehaved" in some way and he play with me and deny my orgasm.. that's really hot. being called "love", "darling", "princess".... my sexual fantasies feel a little too good to be true, which always results in me always doubting if I'd get my preferred lover, and i promise I'd provide as well, I'd be obedient, I'd listen to him, I'd even be his pet if he wants me to, he can pet me, put a collar on my neck and demand me to bend over any time... I'd fulfill his sexual needs as he fulfills mine. I'd give him head on his bad days, I'd let him destroy my pussy out of anger or jealousy to remind me who i belong to, and I'd even let him use me when he feels like it. I'd submit to his every order, and he'd lead me to my own pleasure. I'd want to be filled over and over again to the point where I couldn't even think anymore, and I'd let him fuck me for hours on end. he can overstimulate me all he wants for his own amusement, and I'd beg for him to stop and he'd fuck me harder ( unless it gets too painful then I'd say the safe word ). all if it just sounds so hot to me, but in the end i still feel like I'm a little too young for all these "hardcore" sexual thoughts. I'll just have to masturbate for i don't know, 5 more years and finally marry a guy who's so vanilla he'd only fuck me on fridays, and I'd probably die depressed and sex deprived. what can i say, my life hates me in a way