Straight Female / 40
Wanting To Go Out Nigthclubbing But Afraid To
its been a while since night clubbing days, the last time I went night clubbing was with a friend and she was all in for the fun and I couldn't hack it and got suddenly really afraid and fearful and I was having panic attacks and feeling down right like a t w i t dancing and trying to look happy when I was as sad as shit and there just seemed to be so much substances and levels of intoxication or coma around and bodies in gutters i had to get out of it.
but I do like night clubbing however these days I am lucky to go out during the day for to a club lunch without alcohol or to an event in the evening and I just don't drink much now. I didn't drink much back then either but now I feel like its just not a thing to want to drink alcohol.
I must sound like a seriously boring person. but I learnt from a few drunken nights to give the booze up.
I think I like walking around the streets more then in the clubs. and eating out somewhere modest.
I suppose i am problematic and don't sound excited.
Sometimes these days if I go out in the city I just stay in a hotel for the night but I haven't done that in ages since 12 months ago. I go for a walk, get food, go to a show, take back some snacks and make a boring cup of tea and go to bed in the hotel.
I usually am so lonely I stay up all night and write letters to strangers even. I feel so useless and sad and lost .
but food and hotel rooms are so expensive out now, as well as shows and there is just shit all on in the city and more really happening in the suburbs and rural areas where the vineyards are. I wish I had a nice man to take me to those sort of places or just to the beach at night. I really long for that more then a night club. I think the night club would be just a good excuse .
Sometimes I just long to be hugged or fucked senselessly. which sounds dry and dull right where as a woman you don't want to put much effort in but lay back and enjoy it. That sounds so lazy. I wish they would have a club beach pool night club for summer months.
get wet and stick together instead of in your panties all alone.
but I do like night clubbing however these days I am lucky to go out during the day for to a club lunch without alcohol or to an event in the evening and I just don't drink much now. I didn't drink much back then either but now I feel like its just not a thing to want to drink alcohol.
I must sound like a seriously boring person. but I learnt from a few drunken nights to give the booze up.
I think I like walking around the streets more then in the clubs. and eating out somewhere modest.
I suppose i am problematic and don't sound excited.
Sometimes these days if I go out in the city I just stay in a hotel for the night but I haven't done that in ages since 12 months ago. I go for a walk, get food, go to a show, take back some snacks and make a boring cup of tea and go to bed in the hotel.
I usually am so lonely I stay up all night and write letters to strangers even. I feel so useless and sad and lost .
but food and hotel rooms are so expensive out now, as well as shows and there is just shit all on in the city and more really happening in the suburbs and rural areas where the vineyards are. I wish I had a nice man to take me to those sort of places or just to the beach at night. I really long for that more then a night club. I think the night club would be just a good excuse .
Sometimes I just long to be hugged or fucked senselessly. which sounds dry and dull right where as a woman you don't want to put much effort in but lay back and enjoy it. That sounds so lazy. I wish they would have a club beach pool night club for summer months.
get wet and stick together instead of in your panties all alone.
