Embarrassed Is Not A Strong Enough Word

Excuse me for failing to live up to expectations. I did everything right, good grades, jobs in high school, church mission work, college with good grades, clean living, good people as friends. But I'm broke, my degree in International Studies got me a job downtown as a support staff member. Pay is good if you think 55K is good. Every month I'm older and deeper in debt.

I made the decision to only date men with money. Went to the right places, right church, but nothing gelled. Desperate I told my friend who set me up with a small business owner. His interest was physical which I expected but it got out of hand and I went with him to a show in Las Vegas and came back married. He is 17 years older, has an exwife and three children, grew up in a very different neighborhood, and I fit in as a trophy wife.

Now I stay home, babysit his kids after school, my 'job' is housework. In his culture his ex still has a lot of influence, I'm told because she is older and the mother of his children. I'm trapped, financially and emotionally. I sold myself for the money, the house, the lifestyle. Now I'm a babysitter and housekeeper.