My Mom.

This will be long, for it is a real confession in regards of my unconditional love for my mother. The short version is that I want to make love with her as I feel I could make her feel like the luckiest woman in the world. This isn't a fake story, this isn't for shits and giggles. I'm in my 20s, she's in her 40s (typical) and I'll be honest I'm not sexually attracted to her which is why I feel it's more real than just fantasy. She's been in two car accidents, one in her teens, and one a few years ago. My relationship with her has always been great, but there was a time before her second accident and while I was in high school that her and I didn't talk for a year. One day I got a call from her in the hospital that she had been hit by a car while walking across the road, that she's going into surgery and the doctors don't think she may make it. She was a state away and I had my own vehicle at the time so I dropped everything I was doing to get out and see her for it may be the last time. It was a difficult week, she suffered from multiple wounds that destroyed her spine, hips, arms, and her head. But she made it through the surgeries, and she began recovery so I went back home to finish school and keep working. I couldn't stop thinking about it, it had me question life and the point of monotonous things like work, school, etc. It seemed like the rest of my family could care less. So after a month or so I got a call from her we spoke about how she feels better but that everything in life has become extremely difficult for her. I decided to drop everything I was doing and move in with her to help with everything. I did this for about a year, helping her, my sister's and one of her baby daddies, (my half sisters father) until he started becoming delusional and started doing crazy shit that had my mom skip town with my sisters back to our home town while I remained in the state for another year. I did school for a bit, had a job and a car, things were cool but it wasn't the same being somewhere nowhere near family. I ended up moving back to our home town, moved in with a friend of mine, got another job, hung out with family consistently, life's been good.

I've been with more woman than I could count, and to be honest I can't remember most of them. But one thing was for certain I've always known the game and what's good with getting women off. From bdsm, being authoritative and dominant, but also sensual, loving, intimate and dare I say tantric with my physical expression. This isn't to brag, none of you know me and I'm not trying to say anything other than I'm pretty certain I know how to treat women right, and give them what they need and desire. As a man I'm self reliant, independent,take care of myself and others unconditionally,I'm emotional, empathetic, caring, respectful, I'm always doing my best for my character. But I can't stop feeling bad about my mother and how much she's gone through. She's had men in and out of her life, including my father and other dudes that never could keep up with her needs and wants not just s*xually I'm sure but also as men of the household. Being her oldest I've been the only man in her life who stepped up and gets everything done that she needs from house work, to picking up her prescriptions and running her errands, I do literally anything and everything I can for this woman and unconditionally and I'll continue to do it until one of us passes. What I don't do is anything intimate or affectionate, I can't bring myself to offer to give her massages and what not. She tells me all the time about how she's not able to do anything, that she doesn't feel desirable enough to have a man step up in her life and although she never touched on the subject I'm sure she also yearns for someone to help with her womanly wants and wishes. That's the thing. I do literally everything for her as if I'm her man, except for the things that I think she really needs. Her body is destroyed from the wreck, and she feels insecure about her body. I want to do things that will have her feel like a goddess, I want to massage her head to toe, and I know I got what it takes to have her cum multiple times over and on the daily. I do it for women on the regular. Of course inc*st is seen as a bad thing but in my mind what's wrong with it if it's consensual and all the precautions in regards of safety and baby prevention is taken? If it was purely for pleasure and making her feel like the best woman in the world on the daily, why are we denying that it's allowed and okay? I don't think that it's something that would drive a wedge between us and if anything bring us closer. I didn't start thinking these things until she started telling me things that have me think she's suicidal, and had me think and brainstorm any possible actions and things I could do to show her life is still worth living despite what she's gone through physically and emotionally. I don't think I want to have s*x with her in a selfish way for my own pleasure, but I know it would be mutually amazing if we both did it with each other. I think my mom deserves the best, and I also think that I would be the best. But because i****t is seen as a negative thing it's off the table. The only reason inc*st is frowned upon culturally is because of the off chance that inbreeding happens. But now we live in a time where it can be 100% avoided through multiple ways of contraception. And it's not because I selfishly want to have her, it's truly selfless in that I'd be doing it 100% for her satisfaction as a woman that I feel she rightfully deserves. I'm sure most would disagree with this, and I don't want anyone to reply with any fake bs about mom son stuff. I'm truly just posting this as an anonymous confession because I needed to get it out, and I guess I don't know what to do about it. If I do something like make a move I could end up sacrificing what her and I already share, I could be seen as a creep s*x offender. And I doubt she will do anything because A. women don't typically make moves or advance in general and B. her being my mother I'm sure wouldn't want to take a chance because she may feel it sacrifices what we have. I sent her an anonymous email just telling her that there's someone in her life who loves her unconditionally, and that she deserves someone who will love and take care of her in all the way that she needs, and that it may be someone who she'd least expect. But I doubt anything is to come from it in a positive way, and I hope she doesn't take it as weird or anything but I guess if anything comes from it I'll update on this thread. I appreciate you reading, whoever you are and feel free to express, relate or question as a response to this and have a good day.

I posted this already this one is edited just in case the words used were to sensitive for the original to be posted.