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Women Only
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Lesbian Female / 29
Going For Broke, Putting My Lesbian Life Behind Me
From around 7 on I new that I favored girls, and was in love with several until I had my first one on one with a girl in the ninth grade. It didn't last, we were both very insecure and it was embarrassing talking to her considering that I had licked her pussy. In the eleventh grade I had my first affair with a senior girl who was on the cross country running team (my weakest body type).
I went to college and had two girlfriends in college, it was the time when being with another girl was in the 'how cute' world, two pretty girls together. My parents reluctantly accepted that fact, although they never referred to my girlfriends as my partners, just her 'friend'. I finished college very empowered by my love for women and moved to the center of the lesbian world. I was a flirt and went after, you guessed it, athletic types but with no intentions of long term relationships. I was happy going flower to flower. Oh, I should add living without the help of my parents I had sunk into near total poverty, no car, no new clothes, barely had enough for toothpaste and cheap makeup. I hadn't seen a doctor or a dentist since I went to college.
It was then, that I met this man. He was abusive, over-toned me, forced me to sit and listen by holding me by the wrist, bawled me out like if I was a ten year old, told me to get my shit together and drop my then girlfriend. He fucked me outright, no ceremony, just fucked me and when I complained to him after he fucked me, he fucked me again. I had never been fucked, never been in the sexual grasp of a man, never been held against my will, never seen a hard dick, much less had a dick forced in my mouth. Forced to spend the night with him, I woke up in his apartment where he put me to work cleaning the kitchen and I got my butt spanked several times. If I complained, I got another spanking, I got spanked until I quit complaining and washed the dishes.
He supports me basically, I sleep with him and he fucks me at will. If I'm not up to it, he lets me off for a day or two, but then goes ahead and fucks me anyway. My pussy is his pussy. And if my pussy isn't willing, well then you know where he is going to fuck me, so I am a willing pussy. I do the housework for him, the one thing my growing up prepared me for. He likes home cooked meals so I have learned to cook, and taken classes and use the internet and YouTube for guidance. He likes me in a dress and not shorts or pants, and he likes me in girl panties, not thongs or suggestive underwear. He likes my pussy where he can see it, I shave regularly and keep my pussy lips smooth for him to look at. I'm a puppy dog when it comes to waiting for him to come home from work.
I met a woman in the neighborhood, I don't live in cheap apartments anymore. She is a runner and has run several marathons. I got the hots for her, it welled up inside me, and I came out to her and she told me that she liked a girl now and again. We got together when her kids were in school and it was the beginning of what became a six month long affair. I want to feel guilty for going behind his back but I just can't feel guilty. She sucks most of libido out of me and I'm responding to him in a very weak manner. He's noticed and want's me to see a doctor. He can't possibly know about her, I am scared shitless that he will disapprove and worse. She's supportive and tells me to stick to him, I won't survive the streets anymore. She has gone so far and told me to get pregnant.
I know my inner self, I'm a closeted lesbian who is stuck to a man for everything and about to get pregnant. I don't get spanked anymore, although I would welcome one, and I'm treated as usual, he refers to me as his wife among friends. He's open to me getting pregnant but tells me that if I do I have to commit to at least two, and become a full time housewife and quit my part time job. Since I stopped seeing my woman friend I've been more responsive or it could be that I'm just anxious to get pregnant. I won't lie, I like getting fucked and the more of it the better. He is a very large man to my small frame and I feel like a teen when I'm with him. I don't wear pants or shorts, because he likes dresses and I cook all his meals. I'm torn between two worlds, one of them is alive and in the other I'm a dependent. My woman friend is all in for me to just settle down and get pregnant and be a housewife and quit overthinking it. We can make a 'date' for a quarterly visit to work out all the kinks of our girly desires. She made the choice and doesn't regret it, now it's my turn to face my reality.
I went to college and had two girlfriends in college, it was the time when being with another girl was in the 'how cute' world, two pretty girls together. My parents reluctantly accepted that fact, although they never referred to my girlfriends as my partners, just her 'friend'. I finished college very empowered by my love for women and moved to the center of the lesbian world. I was a flirt and went after, you guessed it, athletic types but with no intentions of long term relationships. I was happy going flower to flower. Oh, I should add living without the help of my parents I had sunk into near total poverty, no car, no new clothes, barely had enough for toothpaste and cheap makeup. I hadn't seen a doctor or a dentist since I went to college.
It was then, that I met this man. He was abusive, over-toned me, forced me to sit and listen by holding me by the wrist, bawled me out like if I was a ten year old, told me to get my shit together and drop my then girlfriend. He fucked me outright, no ceremony, just fucked me and when I complained to him after he fucked me, he fucked me again. I had never been fucked, never been in the sexual grasp of a man, never been held against my will, never seen a hard dick, much less had a dick forced in my mouth. Forced to spend the night with him, I woke up in his apartment where he put me to work cleaning the kitchen and I got my butt spanked several times. If I complained, I got another spanking, I got spanked until I quit complaining and washed the dishes.
He supports me basically, I sleep with him and he fucks me at will. If I'm not up to it, he lets me off for a day or two, but then goes ahead and fucks me anyway. My pussy is his pussy. And if my pussy isn't willing, well then you know where he is going to fuck me, so I am a willing pussy. I do the housework for him, the one thing my growing up prepared me for. He likes home cooked meals so I have learned to cook, and taken classes and use the internet and YouTube for guidance. He likes me in a dress and not shorts or pants, and he likes me in girl panties, not thongs or suggestive underwear. He likes my pussy where he can see it, I shave regularly and keep my pussy lips smooth for him to look at. I'm a puppy dog when it comes to waiting for him to come home from work.
I met a woman in the neighborhood, I don't live in cheap apartments anymore. She is a runner and has run several marathons. I got the hots for her, it welled up inside me, and I came out to her and she told me that she liked a girl now and again. We got together when her kids were in school and it was the beginning of what became a six month long affair. I want to feel guilty for going behind his back but I just can't feel guilty. She sucks most of libido out of me and I'm responding to him in a very weak manner. He's noticed and want's me to see a doctor. He can't possibly know about her, I am scared shitless that he will disapprove and worse. She's supportive and tells me to stick to him, I won't survive the streets anymore. She has gone so far and told me to get pregnant.
I know my inner self, I'm a closeted lesbian who is stuck to a man for everything and about to get pregnant. I don't get spanked anymore, although I would welcome one, and I'm treated as usual, he refers to me as his wife among friends. He's open to me getting pregnant but tells me that if I do I have to commit to at least two, and become a full time housewife and quit my part time job. Since I stopped seeing my woman friend I've been more responsive or it could be that I'm just anxious to get pregnant. I won't lie, I like getting fucked and the more of it the better. He is a very large man to my small frame and I feel like a teen when I'm with him. I don't wear pants or shorts, because he likes dresses and I cook all his meals. I'm torn between two worlds, one of them is alive and in the other I'm a dependent. My woman friend is all in for me to just settle down and get pregnant and be a housewife and quit overthinking it. We can make a 'date' for a quarterly visit to work out all the kinks of our girly desires. She made the choice and doesn't regret it, now it's my turn to face my reality.
