My Gay Life Is Focused On Men To Have Sex With

My first clear recollection of focusing on cocks was when I was 13 in the changing room after a swim team event. There was a man there, who knows how old, who was changing too. He stood naked a few feet away from me. His cock was right there and I stared at it, until a friend hit me and told me to stop staring. That night I had what was my first true wet dream, About this man and in my dream he had sex with me. It was only a dream, but it was as real as real life to me.

It wasn't until I was 17 that I had the opportunity to hold and behold a real cock in my my hand, to put it in my mouth and bend over a desk for it. It was better than a dream, and that night I masturbated to the memory several times. After that when I focused on a cock I focused with a true memory of it.

I became pretty wild after that, I sucked off anyone who would let me, I bent over, or laid back and let them fuck me. I wasn't overly particular, men were everywhere where I grew up, and a lot of men liked nice young guys. And that was me.

In my mid twenties, I had become a bit more careful by then, I met a man who worked as a bank auditor who lived in my apartment complex. I became his boy and I moved in with him, in effect coming out to friends and neighbors alike. He was well known in the gay community, not only with the young me looking for a daddy to fuck them, but with the other older gay men like him. Most of them had a boy too and some of us became friends. I know now that the reason so many of them had boys around was that was what brought them together, they shared that lifestyle.

I have never really been able to have a stable relationship. After a while I get bored and I need to find someone else. I know it's me that's broken, but it's also the real thing. I find men through men I know, and from time to time I've used dating sights. In our community, relationships are pretty fluid and I gravitate to men who like to keep a lover around.