My Husband Is Cheating On Me, What Do I Do? A Question Heard A Lot.

A coffee with three of my friends and the topic turned to fidelity. Little by little it came out that all of us had husbands who had cheated. Finding out about it in an accidental manner. I found out because he and his lover girl at work just stopped being careful with their texts. And one of them was about 'last night'. Another one of us because she was confronted with his lover who wanted her to give him a divorce. The third amongst us found out because their daughter saw him out with his lover when he was supposed to be out of town.

We are in our mid thirties, with families and homes. When I went to my Minister with his infidelity, he was cautious about me misreading those texts, but there is no misreading 'I'm sorry, my period came early, I'll make it up to you I promise'. The advise he gave me was to be very careful about winning a battle and losing a war. He is unfaithful, but I have a family and a home. Don't dig your own grave.

For various reasons we have all known and stayed in the marriage and not confronted him. For all practical purposes everything runs ok, he is there for all the important dates, goes to the kid's ball games, makes love to me. My friends also have husbands to haven't failed at their wedded lives. So why rock the boat? Why make an enemy out of the man you need most? Why stop loving him, because he plays around?

In my case I have way more to lose than to gain. My self esteem is not ruined because he goes to bed with another woman, that's him, not me. She is the one that is going nowhere, he's using her. Really if I was of the mind to it I would give her counseling, don't waste your life on a married man.

We all agreed that afternoon that making waves in a teapot wasn't the way to go. Upper lip and all that, and when he gives you attention make him know that you are the one for him. You are in his bed, not her. He will tire of her or not be able to afford her, or stop putting up with her demands. In short, it will burn out and you will still be in his bed to comfort him.