It's Hard Enough Explaining It, We Just Live It One Day At A Time

I'm 43, I have three daughters, 18, 16 an 13. I'm an elementary school teacher with 20 years experience. My daughters' father is married to another woman. We broke off between my second and third daughter, but he showed up one night and that's how my third daughter came along. He's not a scum bag, he pays all his child support and voluntarily pays me 'spousal' support. He also owns the house we live in and he's been generous with cars, vacations, Christmas, Birthdays, and just because.

His wife is a high earner herself and from time to time she tells me it's community property so technically she is paying half of my child support and spousal support. Just reminding me, that half my support is from her. I don't do their books so how they work it out is not up to me. My 18 year old is in her first semester at college and her 'step Mom' took her and bought her a nice car, and is making her whole so she doesn't have to take out student loans.

I'm 100% sure now that she has been involved from the very first day he took me out and got me pregnant. Lately, the last six months he's been real friendly and he spends the night with me. My policy from day one was to never be cold in his bed, if he wants loving I'm going to give him loving. I'm fielding calls from his wife, I have never lied to her and I don't lie to her now. If her feelings are hurt I'm sorry, but she knows exactly whose bed he's in. He never looks for a hooker or a waitress in a bar. He's in bed with me or he's in bed with her.

I don't know why she could never conceive, I know she tried including a lot of money spent with a fertility doctor. I had the babies she was never able to conceive. I never prevented my daughters from spending time, vacations, holidays with their father and their step Mom. If anything, my heart hurts that babies never came her way.

Christmas is upon us again and we will have Christmas dinner at my house. We trade off each year. My 18 year old made good grades this semester. My other two girls make straight As themselves. Where Daddy wakes up on Christmas day we will only know when it happens, my girls wake up late now, not like when they were little girls.

So here I am, 43, never married, but pretty close to it. One more year, in this odd relationship.