Gay Male / 61
A Letter To Say Things I Don't Have Anyone To Tell It Too
So I'm here nursing an injury to my back. It's an old injury but from time to time it gets to hurting and I have to stop doing things. I try to man up and put up with it, but I confess that I have had to resort to pain medication which I don't like.
I was married once, many years ago to a nice girl. We broke up when I got hurt, I couldn't explain it to her and she figured out that what happened was doing something I shouldn't have been doing. Rather than tell her the truth, we broke up. Nice girl, a nice woman now.
I feel off a balcony visiting a 'friend'. That's how I broke my back. I told my wife that it was a work accident, working late. Actually I was with my 'friend' doing what I do and I was is sitting on the balcony rail while he was sucking my cock and I fell backwards. Fortunately it was only one story or I wouldn't be here telling you this now. He and I aren't friends any more, this was over twenty years ago.
I've stayed unmarried, I just like being with 'friends' too much and the double life is just too hard to keep up. When I get together with a 'friend' it's insatiable, I can't stop and it goes on too long. I just want it too much. Several times these 'friends' wanted to make it something more permanent, but that scared me off. I can't have a permanent relationship deep in the shadows, if you understand, These 'friendships' are off the books. God, how I like them, I could really use one now,
My injury has interfered with my work enough so that I took early retirement, a descent enough package. This was a voluntary release in 2020 when people right and left were being laid off. Better me, with my package, than some young family member who needed the job. Fortunately during those long days when you couldn't go out I found a 'friend' and we had a grand old time. And to make it sweeter still, my back didn't get in the way, I was quite limber and I enjoy trying new things and positions. God I wish I could be doing that now instead of getting doped up to deal with the pain.
I met a man quite by accident the other day. I was feeling well enough to drive and went out to get a bite at this Vietnamese place. He was sitting alone and the place was full and I went over and he agreed to share the table. A nice guy, retired from the 'force', a retired cop. I could tell right off the bat that he enjoyed the forbidden fruit and I talked him to come over and we were getting along quite well when I threw out my back again. Damn, and it really hurt. There I was in an odd shaped position, hurting like hell, and his beautiful cock a couple of feet away and there was nothing I could do about it.
He was understanding enough. He helped me get 'seated' and I had to take a couple of p!lls. But that's as far as it went and he had to leave and I haven't heard from him since then. Not that I should expect it, it was a one off thing. But I wasn't able to enjoy it, I feel empty, task unaccomplished and I was so ready for his cock, and then the searing pain.
Well, just one more thing. I have a small life insurance policy, not much really but enough for a good surprise. I have my ex wife, nice woman really, as the beneficiary. I have a will for what it counts, the only thing I own that is worth something is a small rental house I inherited myself from my grandmother. It's old but in a nice place and I've plowed the rent money into it and it stays rented and it gives me net about six thousand a year. I've left that to her too.
What I can't leave her is the explanation of what happened. Or the communications, or explain why certain people may come to my funeral. I will leave her, as if this is an inheritance, many more questions than answers. What a weird group of friends. You see, I won't be here in a few months. I have been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, the aggressive type, and I didn't respond to the medications. I just wish that I had been able to get one more round, he was such a nice man, big and strong and he would have really given me the treatment that I need so much.
Thanks for your attention and understanding,
A man, just a man, in the closet, I never have been able to face the light about all this.
I was married once, many years ago to a nice girl. We broke up when I got hurt, I couldn't explain it to her and she figured out that what happened was doing something I shouldn't have been doing. Rather than tell her the truth, we broke up. Nice girl, a nice woman now.
I feel off a balcony visiting a 'friend'. That's how I broke my back. I told my wife that it was a work accident, working late. Actually I was with my 'friend' doing what I do and I was is sitting on the balcony rail while he was sucking my cock and I fell backwards. Fortunately it was only one story or I wouldn't be here telling you this now. He and I aren't friends any more, this was over twenty years ago.
I've stayed unmarried, I just like being with 'friends' too much and the double life is just too hard to keep up. When I get together with a 'friend' it's insatiable, I can't stop and it goes on too long. I just want it too much. Several times these 'friends' wanted to make it something more permanent, but that scared me off. I can't have a permanent relationship deep in the shadows, if you understand, These 'friendships' are off the books. God, how I like them, I could really use one now,
My injury has interfered with my work enough so that I took early retirement, a descent enough package. This was a voluntary release in 2020 when people right and left were being laid off. Better me, with my package, than some young family member who needed the job. Fortunately during those long days when you couldn't go out I found a 'friend' and we had a grand old time. And to make it sweeter still, my back didn't get in the way, I was quite limber and I enjoy trying new things and positions. God I wish I could be doing that now instead of getting doped up to deal with the pain.
I met a man quite by accident the other day. I was feeling well enough to drive and went out to get a bite at this Vietnamese place. He was sitting alone and the place was full and I went over and he agreed to share the table. A nice guy, retired from the 'force', a retired cop. I could tell right off the bat that he enjoyed the forbidden fruit and I talked him to come over and we were getting along quite well when I threw out my back again. Damn, and it really hurt. There I was in an odd shaped position, hurting like hell, and his beautiful cock a couple of feet away and there was nothing I could do about it.
He was understanding enough. He helped me get 'seated' and I had to take a couple of p!lls. But that's as far as it went and he had to leave and I haven't heard from him since then. Not that I should expect it, it was a one off thing. But I wasn't able to enjoy it, I feel empty, task unaccomplished and I was so ready for his cock, and then the searing pain.
Well, just one more thing. I have a small life insurance policy, not much really but enough for a good surprise. I have my ex wife, nice woman really, as the beneficiary. I have a will for what it counts, the only thing I own that is worth something is a small rental house I inherited myself from my grandmother. It's old but in a nice place and I've plowed the rent money into it and it stays rented and it gives me net about six thousand a year. I've left that to her too.
What I can't leave her is the explanation of what happened. Or the communications, or explain why certain people may come to my funeral. I will leave her, as if this is an inheritance, many more questions than answers. What a weird group of friends. You see, I won't be here in a few months. I have been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, the aggressive type, and I didn't respond to the medications. I just wish that I had been able to get one more round, he was such a nice man, big and strong and he would have really given me the treatment that I need so much.
Thanks for your attention and understanding,
A man, just a man, in the closet, I never have been able to face the light about all this.
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