I have to confess I cheated on my boyfriend. He is a wonderful guy who I've been with for about a year. However, he lives 10 hours away and the last time I've seen him was July.

2 weeks ago I was at my friends house. He is my best guy friend and we hang out alot. I was at his house and we were drinking...alot. We were both totally drunk and it was about 3am. We were sitting on the couch and I laid my head in his lap because I was tired. He starts stroking my hair and tracing my lips with his finger while we are watching tv. He then sticks his finger in my mouth and I start sucking on it like I was giving his finger a blow job. I could feel his dick getting hard by the second. He then laid down behind me and started massaging my breasts. I looked up at him and he kissed me. We made out for a long time, fully clothed, although we were both wanting it bad. We got up and went to his bedroom. I climbed on top of him and we went for it. We were making out while he begged me to "suck it". So I went down on him. He couldn't take it anymore and jumped on top of me and he slammed into me. It was the best sex ever.

The whole time my cell phone was ringing and it was my boyfriend, but I just ignored it. I had so many opportunities to stop what I was doing, to not cheat. But I ingored them and kept going. I was sucking my friends dick while my boyfriend was leaving messages on my voice mail telling me he was sorry he hadn't called me.

I did call my boyfriend later and told him that I was asleep and that's why I didn't answer. And to this day I really don't feel any guilt. I mean, I'm sorry I did it and I don't want to do it again, but I don't have the overwhelming urge to have to confess to my boyfriend. I'm not sure why I don't, but I don't. What does this mean?