Our Different Path For Me

My parents emigrated to Germany in 1990 and my father worked as blue collar laborer in construction. My mother stayed home and had babies. As each baby was old enough, she was married to someone's son in Turkey and a new family was started. My father had no sons, so his son's in law had to take their place and work for him to build a successful business. As the youngest I refused to be sent home to get married.

I went to university and became educated. I would not want to marry a construction man.

I got a job in Holland for a multinational firm. I met a man from America, a rich man, very highly educated. He found me attractive and I went to bed with him. I thought I was ready, I wasn't. He was a brute of a man, and it was obvious I was entertainment. But I fell magically in love, anything was better than not being with him. It became obvious that I would never be a wife, the most I could expect was to be his concubine.

I settled down to have children, to keep a home for him in Amsterdam, while he has a home in the US.

My parents and sisters live in Germany, deep in a Turkish neighborhood. My children are seen as outsiders, being a concubine I am not accepted. I have had to make a whole new life in Amsterdam. One day I may meet his wife, I will be sure to respect her. But for now, I prepare for my husband who will be here tomorrow to spend the new year holidays with us.

To the Christians and the Muslims who share lives together, Happy Holidays. One day we will all be one religion.