And I swear to God Im going to zap the next short bastard that walks by me in NYC with a fucking golf umbrella. Listen up fuckwads. I dont care if your a fucking midget. I care that your huge fucking umbrella is exactly at the height of my eyeballs. And I like my eyeballs. In fact, the thought that one of my eyeballs might end up dangling from the end of the little metal tip on your fucking Nike umbrella like a olive in a martini, is somewhat disconcerting to me. Hence be warned. You are not on a fucking golf course. You are in fucking Manhattan. I will drop you with 10,000 volts in a fucking heartbeat. I will pry that fucking umbrella out of your twitching hands, and throw it under a passing bus.
Thanks, I feel better now.
and you golf umbrella wielding dwarves know who you are.