Little R-Rated Mermaid

When I was 15, our school did “The Little Mermaid, Jr.” as our winter musical, and I auditioned and won the role of Ariel. All the girls cast as mermaids got a similar costume, the top half of which was just a bra with a pair of fabric clamshell appliqués sewn to the cups, but each girl’s bra was a different color. The director picked the thinnest (white) girls to be mermaids (probably since we’d be showing the most skin in the cast), and the costumer warned us not gain any weight before opening night so that we’d fit into the costumes she was making for us.

Unlike my sister mermaids, I had rather big boobs. During my fitting, the costumer asked if I was comfortable showing cleavage. I said yes, figuring I’d worn less to the beach.

Opening night, I was nervous and excited, and a little self-conscious to be practically half naked on a stage under bright lights in front of a big audience. I did pretty well singing and delivering my lines, but the brisk, energetic choreography to “Under the Sea” had me doing a series of chest shimmies, and my boobs were bouncing and jiggling a little too much, and I glanced down to see my nipples had popped out of my bra. I kept dancing while casually tucking my boobs back into their cups, hoping nobody noticed since I wasn’t the one singing in this scene. But my crazy nipples made a couple more appearances before my costume change into my “human” clothes. To make things worse, there were parents in the audience capturing the whole thing on video.

I was super embarrassed, and so was the director, who made me wear a flesh-colored camisole under my bra for our last two performances so that I wouldn’t have anymore wardrobe malfunctions onstage. For the rest of the year, I got teased for being that girl that gave an R-rated performance of a G-rated Disney musical.