The Reality Is That It Is Another Burden Of Being A Woman

When I was fifteen my mother walked in on me and my best friend in the 69 position, naked on my bed. The result of this was a long talk and pushed into having only amorous relationships with boys. I went through college, where I had amorous relationships, but not with boys. However I knew that I had to marry a boy. I married a boy I grew up with who always had a crush on me. We had children and he worked for his father in a fabrication business. Everything was normal. But it wasn't.

When I was 34 I met this woman through a friend and one thing led to another and she took the lead and she was soon kissing me and fondling me. I should have put a stop to it but I didn't and my top was off and she was making love to my boobs and then I was on my back and she was making love to my pussy. I had a couple of orgasms that afternoon. By the time that my kids were getting home from school the living room was picked up and organized and my friend had left.

This relationship lasted for a long time, an affair really, behind my husband's back. It was impossible to quit and I lost interest in giving my husband sex. I quit when I found out, because I got a call from a woman I knew worked with him, that he was having an affair with a younger woman in his department. I accused him, I had evidence of chats on his phone, and he confessed and asked for forgiveness and promised not to mess around. I broke off my extramarital relationship and had another baby.

I have been married for 25 years and have three children with my husband. I have not cheated again, however I know he has cheated again with the same woman. I don't say anything, I hold back my feelings, something that comes with the territory of being a woman. I just want him to end it, let it run its course and end it. Divorce will be a very expensive thing for him, and it's my only hope and weapon. I don't want him having sex with another woman before he comes home.

I know I'm not straight. But that doesn't mean I'm gay. I have had sexual lesbian relationships but not lately. I want to confess to my husband that I cheated on him for two years, but I know that will mean divorce and I'm not prepared to make it alone. Not to mention that I will not be able to look at my children if they find out I had an affair with another woman. And so I put up with his cheating.