When Everything Goes Dark, There Is A Light, For Me It Was AA

I woke up on the floor of the bathroom. I had no memory of how I got there. I managed to stand and steady myself, I had the worst hangover ever. Around ten I went to the garage to toss some trash and my car wasn't there. It wasn't in the driveway either. I also lost my purse, and my watch. I laid down because I was spinning and passed out again.

When I woke up it was dark, the clock said eleven. I felt better and managed a shower. I went to the garage and no car, no car in the driveway, my wallet and watch were gone. I called the police. It was all over the phone, name, rank and serial number, description of the missing property, where were you (that I didn't know). They logged it, I ate something and watched tv and fell asleep in the recliner.

The next morning around ten the cops called, they found my car, it was in a parking lot at the Blue Angel bar. In the car was my wallet and watch. I had my keys, but nothing made sense. The bar told me I had been there with some friends, and I had gotten out of hand and grabbed a waitress and I was thrown out. I was blank about it, who? When? I did what? How did I get home? at what time? Unanswered questions. I caught a cab and retrieved my car. Everything was in order. Except the night I didn't remember.

That's when I went to AA.

Sobriety was worse than dying. My AA partner kept me alive. Months went by without much to talk about. Somehow I kept my job, but after I quit drinking I found out that I was on the short list to be let go. I had no friends, none that didn't drink. My husband, he was long gone, along with my kid. 38 and I was all alone. Except for AA. AA saved me, I mean it, it also somehow got me back to God.

My AA partner, a woman named Janet in her late fifties walked me through life, cooked for me and helped me dress, those early days were terrible, withdrawal is nothing to take lightly. She bathed me, as in bathe. She was an old dike, had worked for the Social Services until her dependency got her fired. She worked now with another agency, a private agency helping women get back on their feet. She wasn't particular she said, straight or gay, she took me that night and was my guiding light through the months of fog. She talked to my supervisor, she talked them into letting me stay. What bothered her, was why did I grab the waitress?

The story from the Blue Angel, which is a dive bar, was that the waitress had bent over to serve a pitcher of beer and I goosed her, grabbed her between her legs, as they say I grabbed her by her pussy. I have no memory of it. But the bar does, they kept the girl from pressing charges. Now here I was in the hands of an old dike and she was peeling the onion. She bathed me, she also spent some personal time grooming me, it felt good to lie there while she shaved and entertained herself with my pussy. And as we were together longer, she gave my pussy sweet kisses. One day she said I was going to like this, and she took my pussy in her hand and massaged me into an orgasm. It was violent, I hadn't had an orgasm in so long.

Your problem sweety is that you looked for love in the wrong places, instead of a swinging dick you need a pair of tits swinging over your face. And with that she told me that what I needed was to find a nice young woman and take her with me and settle down in another city and make love and move on.

I live in a city far away, its a large city with over a million. I live with my sweety, I met her at a counseling office for lesbians facing their truth. My AA partner sent me there as part of my recovery. We hit it off, at first friends, and then we decided to just do it. And we found out we liked it, loved it really, and that's how are together. I work in sales, she works in retail. We live in a rental. We don't participate with the gay community and stay away from bars and the like, which limits our interactions. Our best friends are a straight couple, He is also AA. And I keep up with my AA partner, she's like my fairy Godmother.

And my kid is now a senior and has aspirations to become an Engineer like his father.

Thanks for listening, try AA, believe me it works.