No More Self Control Again

Soooooo it’s me again, yes the boyfriends roommate issue. Urges and evil deeds with thoughts but no control to stop. So I broke out of my shell and went to the mall in the sex store. Super embarrassing for me tbh but I did it!!! Got a new toy and a costume I thought my boyfriend would like. But not the real slutty one just the normal looking school girl look. Even found some cheap glasses at our dollar store. Grabbed my sisters hair clips so I could make up my hair with pig tails. I took quite a few selfies and pics for him. Sent him the not so naughty ones, which as weird as it was all he could say is you look good. Is that all a girl gets for opening up sexually? So not gonna lie I did the oops accidentally sent it to a guy I was messaging about a place to rent. I haven’t opened his reply after he messaged me about why I’d send that which I said it was a complete accident I swear. Buuuuut it really was intentional not that I want sex, but guess just wanted someone to talk to, maybe to get attention from? I’m not really sure like I’m shy but when I open up can be confident. I’m scared if he’ll message something rude. Maybe it will be dirty, or maybe he won’t say much at all. Maybe he’ll offer his place to rent haha jk. A bit of me is turned on what he might say, if it’s rude I might still like the wake up call to get my crap together. Maybe he is married though and that could get weird. Part of me regrets this tbh. I’m also worried I’ll get in trouble from my boyfriend if they know eachother!!! Not gonna lie I masturbated to it each night since I sent it to this older man. The thought of getting caught from my boyfriend, to this older man losing it on me, to just maybe having something intense to think about.

Even few nights ago I went over to my boyfriend me after I sent those pics a week ago and thought about how he didn’t react but this old man has on my phone, I just never opened up the message yet. Even when me and my boyfriend were watching a movie and I thought about him seeing the unopened message on my phone and him getting jealous turned me on. He was massaging my back and I hoped he’d want to have sex, maybe ask for sex or the massage lead to sex, but he was to gentle slowly rubbing my back, so I got up took of my Pajama pants and layed on his bed on my stomach, so as he’s watching tv rubbing my back, my ass with my thong on was right at his face. I even moaned a little as he rubbed my back and nothing!!! I look back and say “you know you can rub more than my back.” He didn’t get how horney I was apparently cause he chose to just keep rubbing my back. So I spun around and got on my knees looking up at him on his back I pulled out his dick and started stroking it till it was fully hard, then went to work sucking on it. He never lasts long, he says I give the best blow jobs, I can’t help but think he wants to fuck me now so bad, and a guy online hopefully thinks I’m sexy or cute whichever works. As I’m sucking my boyfriends dick I grab my phone pretending to take a pic of his dick he got more excited, but I actually opened messenger and checked what that older guy said. As I read his response I sucked harder and deeper. His response “im trying to be respectful and a professional trying to rent out my second house but your making it difficult.” As I’m finishing up reading his message about how cute I am and if I made more pics, but more importantly if I’ve ever been with a guy before especially an older one. And at the end of his response he sent a dick pic. By now I realized I’m deepthroating my boyfriends entire thing which I couldn’t before. My boyfriend asked if I was taking good pics of him lol. God I felt alive and wanted that night, I climbed on him, didn’t even care about the condom, just sat on him and started to grind him when he was all inside me. Staring at this guys dick on my phone made me orgasm, making my boyfriend cum as I pulsates on his dick getting tighter than normal. Yes it was an accident that he cummed inside me, he thought it was the greatest sex which was just okay but still intense for the reason I orgasmed. Again I wouldn’t ever cheat on him but it seems hard if he doesn’t get my sex drive right?