Learning The Ropes When It Comes To Pushing For Avrelationship

I grew up in a modest home, sexually repressed, not poor. My parents, etc. never talked about sex, what I learned in sex ed was about it. I also didn't associate with sexually active kids, and that extended through college. I felt embarrassed when another girl talked about getting lucky on a date.

During the work at home lockdown I had a distance relationship with a gay friend from college. He asked if I had gotten over my inhibitions. We talked a lot, mostly texts, and he sent me pictures he got from the internet, what did I like? It's not what I liked, I just froze up when a relationship moved in that direction. He was 'pretty sure' my problem was that I was gay.

I laughed. But it caused me to think. Remember, reflect. Why was I so cold when a guy pushed me towards intimacy. Why were my closest friends all females. And why was my one guy friend gay. The offerings he kept sending me were women, in erotic display.

What happened next was a neighbor that moved in across the hall. An IT type, all zeros and ones. She was reserved, polite, a nice girl, a younger sister. Things had progressed and the hard lockdown was lifting, I asked her for help with my laptop. We became neighbor friends, shared lunches from Grubhub, caught a movie on her ultra big tv. And one day she asked if I wanted to cuddle under the throw, friends and human contact.

And to make the long story short that's how it started, friends with benefits. No strings attached. I didn't know if a girl could be in my future, but I gained more confident and I was open to try.

There is one girl who works in my office, we are lunch friends. She's not now, or ever has been with a boyfriend, I'm thinking of being forward like my lockdown friend was with me. I'm thinking 'can I have a kiss?' and take her hand and hold it on my chest. You know like friends do.