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Women Only
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Lesbian Female / 36
It's So Easy To Go Where You Never Thought You Would Go
I was born and raised in Puerto Rico, in a local middle class family. I went to an all girl schools and to the Catholic University. I lived at home and my social life was tied to my family, and close friends from my high school. It was the custom that girls only went out in groups, never alone. A few girls had steady boyfriends, but not many. We felt that the boys of my town weren't good enough for us. We couldn't wait to finish University and go to San Juan.
I went to work for a private import export company, and since my English was very good I worked with the American office in Miami. I was offered a job there and I went to Miami, and found out that living in Miami, in a nice place, was very expensive. There was a large Cuban community and some Puerto Rican and Venezuelans. A young man that I met through work took me out and got fresh. I hit him and he hit me back giving me a black eye. I didn't date after that.
When I was 24 I moved to the offices in Houston and met a guy there who was in the transportation business. I was 24 and willing to be less judgmental, I wanted to lose my virginity, A man who worked in our office came to my work station and said he wanted to talk to me. He told me that a friend of his who worked at the trucking company told him that the guy I was seeing had a reputation for being gay. He worked nights as a valet at a gay night club and his sources confirmed that he was available for rent. I didn't believe him, so the next day he brought me a picture sent to him by phone. That guy, in a car with a man, kissing. The man at work told me to be careful, I was going to get in trouble if I wasn't.
I felt humiliated and made friends with some of the girls in the office and that's who I socialized with. One of them was lesbian, but we all new it and if she had a date she went out or otherwise she went out with us. I became very curious about her, about her being a lesbian and one night when we were out I asked if she really kissed other girls. She said yes, and she kissed me on the lips to prove it. She asked me if I liked it because she wanted to make love to me. She put her arm around me the rest of the night at the club and kissed me several times telling me that she wanted me to kiss her too. She told me she was going to make love to me that night and I was going to be her girlfriend.
She made love to me that night and I slept with her at her apartment. She let the rest of the office now that I was her girlfriend and that she was making love with me. She labeled me a lesbian and she picked me up for work and took me home from work, and kept me overnight three or four times a week. When her lease was up she moved in with me. Being with her became my safe place and I guess in a lot of ways I fell in love with her. She was very much in love with me and she told anyone and everyone that we were living together and sharing a bed.
A year and a half after we moved in together my father let me know he was coming to see me. She refused to move out, put pictures of us all over the apartment, on the day my father came to see me she laid her night clothes and my night clothes out on the bed, She introduced herself as my wife and told him that I was her wife, in Spanish the word for wife or woman is the same, and that as soon as the law allowed it we were getting married, even if the Church didn't allow it. She told my father we were lesbians, and she said 'your daughter is a lesbian and I am a lesbian, we are lesbians'. She apologized to me in front of my father, but excused herself because she knew I could never tell my father.
I changed jobs with an offer from a larger import export office and my 'wife' stayed at my old job. By then we were wearing wedding bands and we had had a commitment ceremony in front of friends, many of them lesbians and some gay men. The man at work who had intervened with the gay guy when I first arrived in Houston gave me away. He was now my father.
I turned 30, my sisters were married and had children, my mother was ill and I asked my father if I could come see her. He said if I went I could not enter his house. I was there for three days and my father didn't speak to me. My sisters and my mother were polite but not welcoming. My mother told me I had betrayed her, that I should be presenting her with grandchildren, not committing sins of the flesh with another woman. That's the last time I went to Puerto Rico.
I am not happy, my family is lost to me. I cry about it a lot. Our church doesn't accept us, but we go anyway. We are polite and don't show any affection in church. I have a deep need to have a child or two, but I am 36 now and I am high risk. My window is closed. Maybe if I had never left home I would be married with children and live close to my parents and sisters.
I went to work for a private import export company, and since my English was very good I worked with the American office in Miami. I was offered a job there and I went to Miami, and found out that living in Miami, in a nice place, was very expensive. There was a large Cuban community and some Puerto Rican and Venezuelans. A young man that I met through work took me out and got fresh. I hit him and he hit me back giving me a black eye. I didn't date after that.
When I was 24 I moved to the offices in Houston and met a guy there who was in the transportation business. I was 24 and willing to be less judgmental, I wanted to lose my virginity, A man who worked in our office came to my work station and said he wanted to talk to me. He told me that a friend of his who worked at the trucking company told him that the guy I was seeing had a reputation for being gay. He worked nights as a valet at a gay night club and his sources confirmed that he was available for rent. I didn't believe him, so the next day he brought me a picture sent to him by phone. That guy, in a car with a man, kissing. The man at work told me to be careful, I was going to get in trouble if I wasn't.
I felt humiliated and made friends with some of the girls in the office and that's who I socialized with. One of them was lesbian, but we all new it and if she had a date she went out or otherwise she went out with us. I became very curious about her, about her being a lesbian and one night when we were out I asked if she really kissed other girls. She said yes, and she kissed me on the lips to prove it. She asked me if I liked it because she wanted to make love to me. She put her arm around me the rest of the night at the club and kissed me several times telling me that she wanted me to kiss her too. She told me she was going to make love to me that night and I was going to be her girlfriend.
She made love to me that night and I slept with her at her apartment. She let the rest of the office now that I was her girlfriend and that she was making love with me. She labeled me a lesbian and she picked me up for work and took me home from work, and kept me overnight three or four times a week. When her lease was up she moved in with me. Being with her became my safe place and I guess in a lot of ways I fell in love with her. She was very much in love with me and she told anyone and everyone that we were living together and sharing a bed.
A year and a half after we moved in together my father let me know he was coming to see me. She refused to move out, put pictures of us all over the apartment, on the day my father came to see me she laid her night clothes and my night clothes out on the bed, She introduced herself as my wife and told him that I was her wife, in Spanish the word for wife or woman is the same, and that as soon as the law allowed it we were getting married, even if the Church didn't allow it. She told my father we were lesbians, and she said 'your daughter is a lesbian and I am a lesbian, we are lesbians'. She apologized to me in front of my father, but excused herself because she knew I could never tell my father.
I changed jobs with an offer from a larger import export office and my 'wife' stayed at my old job. By then we were wearing wedding bands and we had had a commitment ceremony in front of friends, many of them lesbians and some gay men. The man at work who had intervened with the gay guy when I first arrived in Houston gave me away. He was now my father.
I turned 30, my sisters were married and had children, my mother was ill and I asked my father if I could come see her. He said if I went I could not enter his house. I was there for three days and my father didn't speak to me. My sisters and my mother were polite but not welcoming. My mother told me I had betrayed her, that I should be presenting her with grandchildren, not committing sins of the flesh with another woman. That's the last time I went to Puerto Rico.
I am not happy, my family is lost to me. I cry about it a lot. Our church doesn't accept us, but we go anyway. We are polite and don't show any affection in church. I have a deep need to have a child or two, but I am 36 now and I am high risk. My window is closed. Maybe if I had never left home I would be married with children and live close to my parents and sisters.
