I Can't Bring Myself To Tell

I had sex with a girl the first time when I was 17. Within a short time I had 4 girls sexually and I liked it. What I didn't think would happen did. A year later I went with another guy and had sex. He was 24 years old and a gay top. I didn't find an attraction there, but for some reason I wanted to go with him. I sucked, which I really didn't like but I've grown used to it, and after doing that and him using his hand on me, I was being rolled over and lubed up and got fucked. Very painfully at first, he went slow but I just couldn't adjust. He offered to quit but I honestly wanted it, I wanted him to fuck me and I wanted him to shoot in me. I wanted to feel what it was like to be fucked and have a mans cum in me and dribbling out of me.

It took probably 5 or 6 times before I could really take it well and he'd fuck me in all kinds of positions. I still sucked him too and I still fucked girls. The best times I've had after that with girls was fucking one with his cum still inside me. If they had looked they'd see the dribble in my underwear.

I have now had sex with several women and way more men. I'm a gay bottom and I love getting fucked. I think I'd prefer getting fucked to fucking a woman, but I just can't bring myself to come "out". I guess it's my upbringing, I just can't admit to anyone else how feminine and good I feel being with a man and having sex with him. I should put gay in the gender but I still fuck women too, and only get fucked by men, usually cumming on my own, but never fucked another man.