You Wouldn't Believe It, But It's True

I got a call one day at work. A young woman. That's how it began. She said that she didn't want to intrude, but she had to ask if I was her Dad. You can't really say no off the bat, youth and college and all that, and maybe some action before I got married. I asked her who her mother was. She said her mother was Sheila xxx. I didn't recall any Sheila, not ever. I asked where she was born, and when. She said Boston and 2004. Sorry, I've never been to Boston and at that time of my life I was stationed at Camp Lejeune as a fresh young Lieutenant.

Sorry to bother you. What came next was a legal demand, for back child support from some two bit lawyer on commission. Claims were that Sheila was a dancer at a club in Jacksonville at that time and she remembered me because I told her my name and I was a lonely Marine. Boy if that doesn't pin you down I don't know what does. I took the letter to my friend, the corporate lawyer and asked him for his opinion. He asked that questions lawyers do, did I ever fuck a girl in Jacksonville? Well fuck yeah, but I didn't know any Sheila xxx. And I was freshly married with one in the oven.

Of course we have DNA. Easily proved. DNA material was collected from me, and supposedly DNA material was collected from this young woman, and damn, it was a match. I swear, or swore right then, this is B.S.

I won't take you down the long road of the fight. But as things developed over time, it turns out that this girl who called me is a student where my daughter goes to school. She was her roommate, found out about me being stationed at Camp Lejeune and swiped her toothbrush, and in an elaborate scam was coming off as being my daughter and she had not only found me but her long lost sister to boot. We had the DNA sample compared to my daughter's and it was a 100% match. We had that girl's DNA done under a supervised court order and, oops, nothing there.

The one behind the scam was the lawyer, an off and on boyfriend of the girl's mother, who had been a whore and dancer in Jacksonville at that time.

No offense to all this, I'm a frequent visitor here, but thought that it might make you're pecker shrivel up a little. Bottom line it cost me over 25 grand to get this put away, embarrassment with my wife and daughter and a year of my life. Lesson learned, don't take any phone calls.