How Do I Love Thee, Let Me Count The Ways...

I have been talking to a relationship therapist to help me understand my dependency to my husband. Think back to your seven year old relationship with your father, that's what my relationship is like with my husband. Disappointing him in anything sends me into a terrible guilt space. Daddy issues? What else is new.

I was inexperienced, my intelligence was all book, no street experience. He took his sweet time with me, months of none stop sex, pleasing behavior, little girl loving. By the time I realized it I was attached by the hip, by the heart strings. I could not properly express my feelings, anymore than a puppy can express how they feel when their Daddy comes home.

I developed super hearing, sight, feelings. His voice, near or far, drew my immediate attention, I could pick him out of a crowd at a train station, or across the racks of clothes at the mall. I could 'feel' him reading in the other room.

I also developed separation anxiety, no child has it worse. When Daddy's not home I cannot settle down. I've passed this down to my daughters standing at the window waiting for their Daddy to come home. You would think you outgrow it, but it becomes worse. "Daddy's home" are the sweetest words my woman ears can hear.

This woman therapist calls it a woman's curse, being put under a spell, old men do it to their young girlfriends, lovers, crazy in love young wives.