When I Got Married, I Got Married

I was not an American citizen. I am married an American citizen. I married him for the sole purpose of getting my residency and citizenship.

We were married in a small ceremony. close friends only. I needed a 'real' looking ceremony, with pictures. I spent that night with a friend. He came over to my apartment the second day, angry and demanding me. I fought him and hit him in the face. I was picked up off the floor and slammed on the bed.

I fought but it was impossible to stop him. After he was done he led me by my wrist into the bathroom, put me in the tub and turned on a cold shower and told me to undress. Wet and naked he took me out and stood me in front of him before turning and telling me to get dressed. He had me pack all my clothes, and what didn't fit in my suitcase he put in garbage bags. With my papers and j*welry in my purse, my marriage license in my hand, my clothes in the trunk, he took me 'home' to start my new life.

I was a homemaker now, with a friend's recommendation he sent me out with a realtor to look for a house. I escaped one day and went to see a lawyer. Did I have grounds, yes and a ticket to my country and a probable suspension from returning. On a non legal basis she told me that hitting a man in the face was the single worst insult a wife can give her husband. Denying him sex was not only stup!d it was grounds for him to throw me out. I was his wife.

I had to settle down, find a house, give him all the sex he wanted, become a homemaker, and not interrupt a pregnancy. In our culture a wife who doesn't get pregnant is an embarrassment to her family and grounds for being dismissed from the marriage. I was married, my secret plan was never to be spoken of again. I found a house he accepted, I was pregnant, I became a docile and subservient wife. A conventional wife in our culture.

The years have passed, quickly. The house is a home now. The children are happy, well educated, polite and obedient. I have friends, many homemakers, and some modern day wives and mothers. We speak Spanish in our home, we live in a mostly Hispanic community. I have never threatened or hit my husband. He respects my wishes, but I know he needs to maintain order and that includes order between husband and wife. We have never had hit words, not since that day.