My Son And I Are In Love
Our relationship was always kind of special. I had him very young, at 15, the father was never in the picture. I raised him with the help of my mom and older sister, who helped me care for him as I went through my education. I tried to be the best mom I could, but due to this dynamic during his first years of life, our relationship was very casual. As he got older, we became more like friends. I taught him to trust me and share everything with me. As a result, even through puberty, he was always very comfortable with me. He shared everything with me: his achievements, frustrations, crushes, girlfriends. When the time came, we even talked openly about sex, very matter-of-factly, naturally. I gave him condoms, even taught him about female pleasure.
it was both ways, and soon he'd also learn about my relationships. My love life was full of frustrations ever since I became a mom, and I have never been able to hold a estable relationship. And my son was always around to pick up the pieces, very tenderly.
After my latest breakup, he took me out for dinner. We got a little bit tipsy, he got me home, and I kept talking about what a nice man he had become. As we said goodbye, I felt him hold me tighter and say "mom, I have to confess something to you". He looked me in the eye and said he loved me... but not in the normal mom and son way. It took a second for me to process what he had said, and as I said "oh god", he leaned in and kissed me. I felt shocked at first, but I didn't stop him. I felt warm inside, like no man had ever made me feel in all those years. I took my own son to bed and we made love. "A mother shouldn't do these things with her son", I told him later, as he held me after we finished. And then he said something along the lines of "you're a woman that deserves to be with a man that loves her more than anything in the world. And I love you more than anything in the world". We kept making love all night.
We know it's wrong, but at the same time it feels so natural. Maybe it's my loneliness speaking, I don't know. I'll have to figure it out on my own because obviously I'm not about to tell my therapist or anyone else about this. We've been "dating" for a couple of months now and we're both truly happy and fulfilled, so much that we regret not being able to shout it at the world. Sexually speaking, he's taken me to places I didn't think were possible. Having him moan in my ear "I love you mom" as he's about to climax is the closest thing to a religious experience I've ever felt. And it happens every time.
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