I Thought I Was A Good Wife.

I thought I had a happy life. I though I loved my husband. It's been 17 years and sex has been a little slow of late but not from his lack of trying, I've been exhausted taking care of the kids and house and my sex drive struggled from it.

Now that my kids are both in school full-time I decided to go back to the gym and get in shape hoping the confidence my boost my sex drive... it did just not how I planned.
Chris is a 20 something trainer at my gym. I have to be almost 20 years older then him. And he is fucking the living hell out of me on the regular.
This has been going on for a few months or more. I mean I don't know why I am doing it because I thought I loved my husband... I do love my husband... but sex with Chris is fucking head exploding good...it better anything my husband has ever did to me in bed. It's just so animalistic with Chris. I don't love him, he doesn't love me we are fucking not doing life together. It's not about romance, finding time, showing affection, it's about screwing each other into a state of oblivion orgasm after orgasm. Its about dirty talk, letting go, not being ashamed to be a little slut for him or what he will think of me for letting that side out. Their is no pressure, and no "duty sex!" I want to fuck him... I want to make him cum hard because I know he is giving it right back to me and I don't have wait for the next "date night" to get my turn.
I am sure he fucks other women at the gym but again, I am not in love with him I am just grateful for the great sex and his willingness to use protection with me.
He made feel noticed, desired, when I felt fat, exhausted, and gross. And fuck... his rock hard abs and younger fit body. Damn, the stamina he pounds me with is fucking crazy...my husband, actually takes care of himself is still a flabby meat ball next to Chris.
The other thing is Chris came for me. He chased me when I said no. He played the long game to fuck me. He hung in there and got me in shape. Trained me for free. He knew exactly what he was doing with close contact and touching in the training session... he wore me down but he also build my confidence. I am not sure I could get another Chris but there are plenty of other men in the gym who are all eyes on me now that I am in shape and confidant.
As for my husband... I do love him. But this sex is not about love. It's about myself and my own self care and self worth. I never want to feel fat, exhausted, and ugly again. And it's not all bad for my husband either with my sex drive all reved up he is getting laid again too and by a version of myself that has not been in this good of shape in 20 years.