Turning 30

A few things about me. I got a degree in forestry management in Seattle. I moved to Seattle because I thought I was a lesbian. I got a summer job as a trail guide in a national park. One man didn't quit bothering me, he walked me to his room in the lodge and got me pregnant. I was 24 totally unprepared to be a mother. Not to mention I had no financial stability.

I had no choice but to become financially dependent on him, which became an emotional dependence. I did fine being a mother, quickly mastering all the mommy skills and totally in love with my baby. It is true that you love your children on a whole new plain. Being a stay at home mom in my age group was a privilege not shared with the other mommies.

The second baby came without thought or notice. My body needed it and he responded to my mommy need. Not one word, not one decision. At breakfast I just dropped the news I was expecting. A kiss on the head, a hug for the baby, 'make me a little girl' and he left for work and I went about my housework. I shared with my mom and she told me to get married, for all our sakes. "You're not only a mother, you are a homemaker'.

I mentioned to him while getting ready for bed that I wanted this baby and I wanted to have my babies' last name. Twist me into a pretzel, buy me a ring, get married in my mom's back yard. I turned 26.

I am thirty, married, with a new infant. I'm an accomplished mommy. I can cook for a crowd.