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Lesbian Stories
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Lesbian Female / 40
The Past Is The Past But It Is Also Who I Am
My 'love' life started in high school with my English teacher. She was just as surprised as I was, but she was older and she initiated. It was the first time for both of us, and she was deathly scared of being found out so we stopped, and cried in our beds at night.
In college I met G by accident, on the bus between my apartment and campus. G was in a hurry, she had ants in her pants and I like to smell the roses. She hurried ahead of me and stopped and waited, and hurried again and stopped and waited. She was in a hurry but I wanted to sit and let the sun in my hair. If she wanted to talk to me she had to sit and wait.
G lived in the complex down from mine and roomed with a girl from Ecuador. A little brown girl, well what was I? I'm a brown girl too I told her, it's just that I speak English. And anyway, what was I doing with an English girl from Connecticut? I had a very heavy bush, thick black hair, an impenetrable jungle, and she had soft brunette hair on her love mound and I loved to rub my face in her. She didn't want to hack her way through the jungle so she shaved me and lay between my legs, cupping me and opening me and sticking her tongue inside. We had fallen in love by then and nothing worked, except being together.
We left college to find our way in the world and we moved in around where the other girls were. We rented a garage apartment from a Mrs. Little and she though it funny that such a white girl would have a little brown girl for a lover. In her day, she would tell us, you didn't see that. The brown girls were over there, down by the refineries and the white girls lived around here. And everyone was quiet and didn't go around showing it. Now a white girl had a little brown girl living with her.
G's parents pushed her to get married. And one day she told me that she couldn't stop that train and she didn't want to be disowned and left out. I helped her buy her gown, and do her hair and nails. I kissed her before she walked down the isle. My G was getting married. G and I stayed lovers for a couple of years after that, it's not something that just goes away. Her husband wanted a family in her twenties to raise in her thirties to give him grandchildren in their forties. That was the formula. I didn't tell him what the formula was with my people, you had your babies in your teens and more babies in your twenties, and one or two more in your thirties. Brown girls lived with a baby on their tit.
I was minding my own business when a man stopped me and asked me to show him what I was working on. He asked me a thousand questions and he had me moved upstairs close to him. He told me he liked little brown girls, that is what he had grown up with. He spoke Spanish better than my mother did and he told her he wanted me to marry him. He wanted a little brown girl making babies for him. In my mid twenties I was already far behind, and my mother told him that I was going to get married and that's what happened. I woke up and it wasn't a dream or anything like it, he was standing there and I wasn't a virgin and I was going to have a baby.
Brown girls have lots of babies and I wasn't the exception. I had a baby on the tit when I got together with my mother, a baby on the tit when I turned thirty. I got started late and I had a baby on the tit when I was thirty five. He wanted a big family, well there it was, six kids. G wrote me a letter, a hand written letter. She told me that one day her husband didn't come home, he left her. For a younger woman who didn't talk about me all the time. My husband told me not to mess with fire. I was married and I needed to let the past be the past. Sorry, I was his wife now. I cried in my bed at night.
In college I met G by accident, on the bus between my apartment and campus. G was in a hurry, she had ants in her pants and I like to smell the roses. She hurried ahead of me and stopped and waited, and hurried again and stopped and waited. She was in a hurry but I wanted to sit and let the sun in my hair. If she wanted to talk to me she had to sit and wait.
G lived in the complex down from mine and roomed with a girl from Ecuador. A little brown girl, well what was I? I'm a brown girl too I told her, it's just that I speak English. And anyway, what was I doing with an English girl from Connecticut? I had a very heavy bush, thick black hair, an impenetrable jungle, and she had soft brunette hair on her love mound and I loved to rub my face in her. She didn't want to hack her way through the jungle so she shaved me and lay between my legs, cupping me and opening me and sticking her tongue inside. We had fallen in love by then and nothing worked, except being together.
We left college to find our way in the world and we moved in around where the other girls were. We rented a garage apartment from a Mrs. Little and she though it funny that such a white girl would have a little brown girl for a lover. In her day, she would tell us, you didn't see that. The brown girls were over there, down by the refineries and the white girls lived around here. And everyone was quiet and didn't go around showing it. Now a white girl had a little brown girl living with her.
G's parents pushed her to get married. And one day she told me that she couldn't stop that train and she didn't want to be disowned and left out. I helped her buy her gown, and do her hair and nails. I kissed her before she walked down the isle. My G was getting married. G and I stayed lovers for a couple of years after that, it's not something that just goes away. Her husband wanted a family in her twenties to raise in her thirties to give him grandchildren in their forties. That was the formula. I didn't tell him what the formula was with my people, you had your babies in your teens and more babies in your twenties, and one or two more in your thirties. Brown girls lived with a baby on their tit.
I was minding my own business when a man stopped me and asked me to show him what I was working on. He asked me a thousand questions and he had me moved upstairs close to him. He told me he liked little brown girls, that is what he had grown up with. He spoke Spanish better than my mother did and he told her he wanted me to marry him. He wanted a little brown girl making babies for him. In my mid twenties I was already far behind, and my mother told him that I was going to get married and that's what happened. I woke up and it wasn't a dream or anything like it, he was standing there and I wasn't a virgin and I was going to have a baby.
Brown girls have lots of babies and I wasn't the exception. I had a baby on the tit when I got together with my mother, a baby on the tit when I turned thirty. I got started late and I had a baby on the tit when I was thirty five. He wanted a big family, well there it was, six kids. G wrote me a letter, a hand written letter. She told me that one day her husband didn't come home, he left her. For a younger woman who didn't talk about me all the time. My husband told me not to mess with fire. I was married and I needed to let the past be the past. Sorry, I was his wife now. I cried in my bed at night.
