My Backdoor Ring

I got divorced a year ago and still have not been with another man. My ex, loves it and teases me about it still. I actually still let him have sex with me. I was only with one other guy when we met back when I was 18. We've been together since, and the problem with other men is my asshole. My ex was heavy into anal, he initiated me into it and I really wanted to do anything he wanted and didn't care about it. We had anal sex probably 4 times a week, and regular sex 6 or more when we were first together. Then after about 2 years he would stick large dildoes in my butt and then we'd have regular sex. I still got anal sex several times a week. He used bigger and bigger dildoes until now my formerly small little hole, now has an outer ring of puffy skin around it. Obviously; I've been very used back there.

I just can't let any one else see me like that, and I don't think there is a thing I can do. How do I explain to someone that I was my ex's buttslut (his term)? It's embarrassing to me, I didn't even think about it and went on a date with a guy from work, after a few dates we were in bed, he and I had sex, and I rolled over and he was freaked out. He asked me how much anal sex I've had and how many guys must have buttfucked me. I told him only my ex and he basically found an excuse to leave, making me feel very self-conscious about my backhole. At work over the next several weeks I notice men and women looking at me from the side. I know he told some people and now they all know.

I never felt anything doing anal, it was only for him to get what he wanted, and now I'm paying the price.