Heaven Then Hell

I'm just about to get married in the chapel in my home village of Milford. I'm totally in love with my soon to be husband. We have a wonderful time together and I'm looking forward to marriage and having a family. My problem is I'm having terrible flashbacks of the times when I was serving in the chapel as a kid.

I was 12 the first time and asked to rearrange some seating in the upper room used by the father's for meetings on occasion. As I was doing my work I was joined by a young trainee priest who was very nice and polite and chatted as we set up the seating and tidied out cupboards.

I was reaching over the large rectangular table while dusting it when I felt hands on my lower back. Strong hands holding me down, forcing me to stay bent over. I caught a glimpse of the priests clothing just as his hand was tugging up my dress and feeling my bottom through my pantoes. I shouted for him to stop. He never heededy pleas and soon my panties were at my knees legs spread and I had a male penis inside me

I cried and prayed for it to stop but the pain and shame continued for minute after horrible minute. Finally the thrusting stopped and I feel warm spurts of something hitting my insides. I was relieved when he exited me and I slumped to the floor. He looked at me. Forced me to open my legs and pull my knees apart to watch his sperm flow out my r**ed vagina. He r**ed and s***mised me again and I feel such a slut as I orgasmed many times during this and subsequent abuses both in and out of the church.

I was targeted by him and others for two years until I moved home and stopped going to chapel at all. Now I'm terrified that I won't be able to hide my panic on my wedding day

My boyfriend knows I was r**ed when I was younger. I just didn't say where or by who?? I feel I should confess this to him now or to my priest but I can't find the courage to do so. I feel like this will ruin our big day.