Straight Female / 36
All Screwed Up
I hate being dominated sexually. But I only become 'aroused', sexually alive, when a man dominates me into sexual submission. I anger afterword. I don't like pain, or abuse. I'm not that kind of woman. I do respond to forced compliance with orders and commands. Do it now! gets my attention.
Another bizarre example. If some other woman steps in to make the bed, prepare his breakfast I become jealous and protective. In hotels if we are staying another night I make the bed, for example on a cruise. At buffet meals I fix his plate before fixing mine.
I tell family and friends I'm working on my career. I'm deathly afraid of becoming pregnant. But a pregnant woman obsesses me, I want to know everything. I'm working on having the nerve to have children. Another fear I'm working on with a therapist.
In social situations I am standoffish of my husband, but let a woman be nice to him and get his attention and the fangs come out, I can't help it. He ignores my outbursts and tells me he is thinking of using her. And he grabs my neck from behind and shoves my head in the pillow, and kicking and screaming he uses me instead. He knows I like it.
I think I'm straight but my therapist is convinced I'm naturally lesbian, with unresolved 'daddy' issues. What does she know? She's projecting her own insecurities.
Another bizarre example. If some other woman steps in to make the bed, prepare his breakfast I become jealous and protective. In hotels if we are staying another night I make the bed, for example on a cruise. At buffet meals I fix his plate before fixing mine.
I tell family and friends I'm working on my career. I'm deathly afraid of becoming pregnant. But a pregnant woman obsesses me, I want to know everything. I'm working on having the nerve to have children. Another fear I'm working on with a therapist.
In social situations I am standoffish of my husband, but let a woman be nice to him and get his attention and the fangs come out, I can't help it. He ignores my outbursts and tells me he is thinking of using her. And he grabs my neck from behind and shoves my head in the pillow, and kicking and screaming he uses me instead. He knows I like it.
I think I'm straight but my therapist is convinced I'm naturally lesbian, with unresolved 'daddy' issues. What does she know? She's projecting her own insecurities.
