Not Proud But It's What I Did. I Was His Bitch, I Wasn't The Only One.

We were all college students. A Sunday outdoor BBQ and pool party ended up with topless girls. The open nudity deteriorated into sex on the patio, the den, any available room. I ended up with a guy I had met there. Sex was fast and impersonal.

For many weeks later I carried the guilt of my behavior. I convinced myself I wasn't at fault. I was the victim of s sexual assault. But there were too many witnesses. too many who like me had stripped naked and performed oral Russian roulette, which of us was going to have a boy explode in our mouth.

I carried my guilt, and my denial after graduation. I told myself I was really a virgin. When my pants were pulled down, I held onto the other end the table, and I lost my virginity again to a fellow coworker, in front of other employees at a party which had turned into fucking the bitch. I was the bitch, I was fucked.

As the bitch I had sacred duties, not only to give sex, but to be his day bitch too. Whatever he needed done, clean for him, or cook. Or pick up his laundry. I stayed there for three years, always the bitch. His bitch. Accept it, I was told. I did.